MAKING LIFE IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CREATIONS EVER......GOD CREATED ALL OF US.......AND HOW BEAUTIFUL AND FORTUNATE WE ARE THAT AS WOMEN WE GET THAT OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE ........................................................LIFE...............................................................
Weeks 1 and 2 Weeks one and two are an extremely exciting and mystifying time for most women. Most women eagerly start calculating their pregnancy week by week as soon as they decide to conceive. During pregnancy week 1 and beyond you will experience the joy of creating life, which is a life-changing event for most women! This guide will walk you step by step through each week of pregnancy. You’ll find informative information about the changes occurring in your body and in your baby. We’ll walk you through each of the stages of pregnancy, and help you understand what you should expect as your body changes and your baby grows from week to week.
During pregnancy week 1 and pregnancy week 2, you may not even be certain that you are pregnant yet! Many women experience few if any symptoms at all. Weeks one and two are mostly consumed with the process of ovulation and fertilization. During pregnancy week 1 and 2 your body will produce estrogen and progesterone in varying amounts to prepare the body for ovulation, when the ovaries release an egg. If you are lucky, this egg will be fertilized and will travel up the fallopian tubes to the uterus, where it will reside for the next 40 or so weeks.
Early Signs and SymptomsThere are some signs and symptoms that most women experience during the first weeks of pregnancy. Though you may not experience all or any of these the first week, you will probably start to experience many of them in the weeks to come. The most common symptoms that women experience during ovulation include some mild cramping, which may occur on one or both sides of the body.
It is not uncommon to feel some ovarian discomfort during ovulation. You may also realize an increased amount of clear discharge during your most fertile time. When your discharge is most abundant, clear, slippery and stretchy, you are at your fertile peak when you have the greatest chance of conceiving. Fertile cervical mucous is often stretchy. You can usually stretch it one inch or more between your fingers.
Other ways to tell you are fertile 1 and 2 weeks after your last menstrual cycle includes basal temperature monitoring. If you are trying to conceive, this can be an effective and natural way to determine your most fertile days. During the first two weeks of your menstrual cycle, your body temperature should be lower than normal, typically between 97.0 and 97.5 degrees Fahrenheit. During ovulation however, your body temperature increases, a change caused by increasing levels of progesterone. A rise of .4 to .6 degrees is common among ovulating women. If you successfully conceive during pregnancy at 2 weeks, your body temperature will actually remain slightly elevated for the duration of your pregnancy.
To take your basal temperature, you must use a basal thermometer. Try to take your temperature first thing in the morning before you get out of bed, as physical activity will increase your temperature and can skew the results.
Did you know a woman’s most fertile time is actually the few days preceding ovulation during the second week after your menses? If you are regularly charting your cycle you should be able to pinpoint a two to four day window of peak fertilization.
Once you have ovulated, you may become pregnant. You may be wondering what the early signs of pregnancy are during the days following ovulation. Most women will not start experiencing true pregnancy signs until 10-14 days after ovulation, though some women have reported symptoms as early as a couple days post conception.
Here are some signs to look for if you think you might be pregnant:
Increased fatigue
Missed period
Nausea
Breast tenderness
Frequent need to urinate
Metallic taste in mouth
Sleep disturbances
Increased temperature that remains elevated after ovulation
Determining Your Baby's Due Date
The question that most often follows is "Am I pregnant?" "When is my baby due?" Guessing your baby's due date is one of the more fun aspects of the first couple of weeks of pregnancy. You can work together with your practitioner to determine the estimated due date of your baby. Most healthcare providers calculate pregnancy from the beginning of the last menstrual cycle. Using this method, you are actually considered pregnant in the two weeks preceding actual conception. This results in a calculation of 40 weeks for the entire pregnancy, even though pregnancy generally lasts about 38 weeks from the time of conception.
It is very difficult to determine the exact date of conception however, which is why most healthcare providers prefer to consider pregnancy as starting from the onset of the last menstrual period. Most women will actually deliver on a date other than their due date. In fact, typically only 1 in 20 women will actually deliver on their due date. Many moms can actually go up to week 42 before they begin active labor on their own. It helps if you consider your due date a rough estimation of the range of time your baby might be born, rather than the day your baby will definitively make an appearance into the world.
Stretch Mark PreventionA common concern of all pregnant women is the appearance of stretch marks. Recent studies have shown that there are ways to prevent the appearance or minimize the severity of stretch marks before they occur by using specially formulated topical creams and lotions.
All of the new stretch mark prevention lotions work by increasing the skins elasticity and preventing the tearing of the collagen in the skin which avoids or minimizes the severity of the formation of stretch marks.
How Your Life Is ChangingYou may be experiencing a variety of different emotions during pregnancy the first few weeks. At this point you have probably made the decision to become a parent, and are considering all the responsibilities that come with parenting.
For some parents this time is filled with expectation coupled with anxiety. Remember it is perfectly normal to be a little anxious about the changes a new baby will bring into your life. You may be anxiously awaiting a positive pregnancy test during this time. Tears of joy as well as tears of angst are not uncommon in the early weeks, and even throughout your pregnancy.
Your last period probably started between 12 and 16 days ago. You may be ovulating during this time. Remember that fertility tracking and charting can help you predict what days you are most likely to be fertile. You can even purchase an ovulation predictor kit to help you pinpoint the day you are most likely to conceive.
While it is hard not to feel some stress during this time, it is essential that you work to reduce your stress as much as possible in the early weeks of pregnancy. Carrying too much stress can actually reduce your chances of conceiving successfully. Take some time to meditate and reflect on all the joyous aspects of your life during the early weeks. This will not only help you feel better, but will also improve your chances of conceiving successfully.
Pregnancy PillowsA Good Choice For Side Lying Mothers
Doctors often recommend pregnant women sleep on their left side during pregnancy. A good pregnancy pillow like Snoozer Pregnancy Pillows can help support this process. The side lying position helps promote optimal blood flow to your uterus, helping feed, nurture and support your unborn baby.
For many women, especially those who were former back sleepers, the left side lying position is the most comfortable alternative during pregnancy. If you haven't tried it before, be sure to try it today; just don't try it without a proper support pillow! You may find you continue sleeping on your side even after pregnancy!
What Is Happening With Your BabyDuring weeks one and two an incredible number of changes are occurring in your body. Your hormone levels have changed significantly to ensure the uterus creates a rich lining of tissue, which will support your fertilized egg after conception.
During weeks one and two your ovaries produced ripe eggs in vessels called follicles. During ovulation, which typically occurs around the 14th day of a menstrual cycle that is 28 days long, one or more of your eggs will burst out of your follicles. Your eggs will then wait patiently in the Fallopian tubes where sperm can fertilize them. Did you know it takes roughly about ten hours for sperm to reach the egg?
In the early weeks the sperm's nucleus commingles with the egg, and your baby's gender is determined. Sperm carrying a Y chromosome generally results in a baby boy, while sperm carrying an X chromosome generally results in a bouncing baby girl.
During weeks one and two your fertilized egg, otherwise known as a zygote, will divide into multiple cells and starts burrowing into the rich lining of your uterus.
Your precious baby is simply a ball of cells that transforms at this point into a blastocyst. The blastocyst consists of an inner cell mass that eventually transforms into the embryo, another cavity that becomes the amniotic sac, and an outer cell body that will become the placenta. It is absolutely amazing how your baby develops from this seemingly primitive ball of cells!
Your Health and PregnancyDuring the early weeks of pregnancy it is absolutely essential that you adopt healthy lifestyle habits. Proper nutrition and exercise as well as minimizing stress are all essential components that help promote a happy and healthy pregnancy.
If you haven't started already, you should begin taking a prenatal supplement during this time that contains at least 400 micrograms of folic acid. This will help reduce your baby's risk of developing neural tube defects. Most prenatal vitamins contain an adequate amount of folic acid.
It is also important during the early weeks of pregnancy that you discontinue any harmful habits that may affect the well being of your unborn child. Cigarette smoking and alcohol abuse are both harmful on a pregnancy. Smoking during pregnancy can increase your baby's risk of being small for gestational age. Smoking also interferes with your body's ability to absorb folic acid, which is essential for helping prevent neural tube defects. Smoking can also increase the risk of miscarriage and low birth weight babies. Other risk factors among smokers include pulmonary diseases and an increased risk for placenta previa, a potentially life threatening condition.
Alcohol abuse during pregnancy is equally damaging. Alcohol abuse has been associated with an increased risk of miscarriage and development of fetal abnormalities. Chronic alcohol abuse has been linked with a syndrome called 'fetal alcohol syndrome' or FAS, which is characterized by a variety of symptoms including growth retardation both before and after birth, physical defects and abnormal facial characteristics.
Children born to parents who drink during pregnancy are also more at risk for speech impairments and motor development disabilities. Even drinking small amounts of alcohol during pregnancy can result in fetal abnormalities, thus it is best that you avoid alcohol during pregnancy as a precaution.
Read About Pregnancy Week 3
Week 3
How Big is the Baby at 3 Weeks Pregnant?At this point in time at pregnancy 3 weeks your baby is too small to detect with the naked eye even though he is growing remarkable fast. By about pregnancy week 3 your baby consists of a ball of cells that can fit into the head of a needle. As you continue to monitor your pregnancy week by week you will find your baby resembles a blob more than a baby, but this will change rapidly in the weeks to come.
Many people wonder at pregnancy week 3 what their chances might be for having twins. Twins generally occur when more than one egg is released from your ovary or ovaries. Your eggs can be fertilized by two separate sperm, which would result in fraternal or dizygotic twins. Identical twins develop when one egg is fertilized but later divides into two. When twins are identical they have the same chromosomal makeup, so they have to be the same gender and have the same physical characteristics.
Multiple combinations are possible when triplets and quadruplets result. Three or more eggs for example can be fertilized to result in triplets. One fertilized egg sometimes splits into identical twins and another egg may be fertilized separately to result in triplets. The human body is endless with possibilities. The entire process is truly remarkable.
If you have a family history of multiples you are more likely to conceive multiples than someone who does not. Just because you have a history of twins in the family however does not guarantee that you will have twins. Women who are 'multiparous' meaning they have had more than one baby, are more likely to have twins than first time moms. Multiples are more and more common nowadays in part due to reproductive technology and assisted fertility.
Your Baby's Growth and DevelopmentBy pregnancy 3 weeks very few women will know for sure that they have conceived and are pregnant. Though you have not yet missed your period, your baby is growing inside of you. Right now your baby is an embryo consisting of a ball of cells that is rapidly multiplying and expanding. If you were to look at your baby through a magnifying glass you would see a group of cells that does not resemble a human form (at least not yet!). By 3 weeks pregnant your baby is about the size of the head of a sewing pin during this week, or about .006 inches long. That's pretty small. The biggest happening during 3 weeks pregnant is fertilization. When an egg joins with sperm, for a baby to be conceived the sperm must penetrate the outer layers of your ovum in order to reach the egg. Of the hundreds of sperm surrounding the egg, one will penetrate the ovum. This sperm then commingles with the chromosomes of the female ovum.
A baby is basically made up of a combination of chromosomes from you and your partner. Both of you contributes 23 chromosomes to the development of your baby. Three days after your egg is fertilized, a 9-cell embryo is formed.
During pregnancy week three amniotic fluid will begin to collect around the ball of cells that comprises the embryo. This occurs in a cavity that will eventually become the amniotic sac. The amniotic fluid will help cushion your baby during the entire nine months of pregnancy. During week three your ball of cells even uses a primitive circulation system that is made up of tunnels connecting your baby to the uterine wall. The placenta will not develop until another week or so, but rest assured until that point in time your baby will receive all the nutrients he needs from you.
Your Growth and Development You may be anxious by pregnancy at 3 weeks to uncover any physical changes
of pregnancy that may or may not be occurring during this time. Most women will not realize any true changes however for a few more weeks. You may however, be able to detect that you are ovulating during this time. Some women are able to tell when they ovulate. The biggest giveaway is pain or cramping on one side of the abdomen. Other women produce an increased amount of clear and stretchy discharge.
One giveaway that you might have conceived by pregnancy at 3 weeks is a small amount of bleeding. This sometimes occurs during conception, though many women miss this or assume it is just pre-menstrual spotting. This bleeding is often referred to as implantation spotting, and is thought to be caused by the egg burrowing into the uterine lining. Usually this happens at about 6 days after fertilization or closer to the end of this week.
Remember that in the early weeks of pregnancy it is vital that you take care of yourself. The best way you can do this is to begin eating healthy and adopting a wellness oriented lifestyle. If you haven't already, you should consider an exercise regimen, provided you have clearance from your doctor to do so. If you have never exercised prior to becoming pregnant, you can still adopt a healthy and active lifestyle, though you will have to do so gradually and carefully during pregnancy. If you have already been active, you can usually continue your routine with a few modifications during your pregnancy.
Changes in YouBy pregnancy at 3 weeks you will probably not be aware of any significant changes as mentioned above. You may as we mentioned before be aware that you are ovulating. This might be a good time to pack your scale away for a while. Weigh yourself one time for the record. You may find that you are slightly bloated due to ovulation. As your pregnancy continues, you'll find your waistline expanding. Some women enjoy keeping track of the incredible shifts in their size during their pregnancy week by week and shape throughout their pregnancy, whereas others dread the inevitable weight gain. Remember that it is natural and healthy to have weight gain during pregnancy. Most women will gain between 25 and 35 pounds during their pregnancy, more if they are carrying multiples. Much of this weight is distributed among the placenta, uterus, amniotic fluid, fluid in the tissues and toward your baby. You will also put on about 7 pounds of maternal fat stores, to help support breastfeeding. Take this time to appreciate and embrace the remarkable changes that are about to occur in your body, and remember that every pound gained is a pound that is going to help support your baby throughout your pregnancy. If you are trying to get pregnant you are probably filled with excitement and anticipation. Unfortunately you won't be able to test for pregnancy for another 10 days or so. Even the most sensitive pregnancy tests usually cannot detect a pregnancy until two or three days before your period is scheduled to arrive.
Maternity ClothesCareer/Collections: Working Moms Can Find Classy, Sophisticated Wear
You need to look great at work but don’t want to spend a fortune on maternity wear, right? Don’t worry! Fortunately for today’s mom-to-be there is a huge selection of career collections that range in price to suit every working mom-to-bee's budget, size and even style preferences!
If you plan on working throughout your pregnancy you will benefit from buying career collections that contain several mix and match pieces. Consider Pants and a few different blouses or blazers from Destination Maternity .
Believe it or not, you can survive your entire pregnancy with just a few carefully chosen outfits if you invest in one of the many career collections available today! Whether you are the CEO of a major corporation or work for a small office of less than 20 employees, rest assured you can find just what you are looking for when it comes to career maternity wear!
Pregnancy Health TipsIf you are trying to become pregnant now is the time to give up your glass of wine, avoid drinking alcohol during pregnancy. Consider embarking on new rituals during your pregnancy. Meditation is a wonderful and easy way to relax and is beneficial for both you and your baby. If you find yourself missing the occasional treat, consider an alternative such as a grapefruit juice spritzer. Decaffeinated teas are also a great option throughout your pregnancy. Don't stress out about any drinks you had prior to realizing you were pregnant. It is unlikely that these will have serious effects on your baby. It is important however when you make the decision to become pregnant or when you find out that you are pregnant that you adopt healthy practices to ensure the well being of your child. Ask your partner to encourage you during the process, you might find that he is willing to give up his nightly cocktail as well to show support for you doing your pregnancy.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
LIFE.....
Hello friends ,
I am SUDHA IYER MENON.
Life is really very beautiful . But how we live it is the most important question . I can be HAPPY OR SAD , SELFISH OR SELFLESS ... so it depends on me how i live it and what i do. Do i live and let live or i LIVE AND MAKE OTHERS MISERABLE . :):):)
Everything depends upon my attitude , how much positive i am , am i strong or weak , can i deal wid the harsh realities of life , am i self reliant ? . The conclusion , i feel is that i must become STRONG , POSITIVE , SELF DEPENDENT , HAPPY , CHEERFUL PERSON . How the hell do i do that??? I must believe in myself 100 % , and i shud realise that i have the full potential inside me to become HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL . I must always strive to become a better person , overcome my weaknesses and stand up on my own. How do i do that???
FAITH IS THE KEY .
Thru FAITH ONE CAN overcome anything and everything in life. Only FAITH enables me to become ABSOLUTE LY HAPPY .
GOD has created life and i feel its indeed very good. I as a person has realized that it shud be lived 100 % . There comes a big challenge. How am i suppose to do that. I find it so very difficult.
As some time i am happy , sometime i am sad , smtime i am angry , smtime i am irritated , smtime i am a lovable person , smtime i am being hated....... OOPS.....so many versions in one life......wer is the time to think abt the world outside , wer its people are suffering , cities are burning because of terrorism .....no food and shelter for so many people......................................
WORLD OUTSIDE IS VERY VERY DISTURBING...........................................................................
But i learn everyday that how i shud start thinking abt other people and live for other people as well. Until and unless everybody is HAPPY , i cannot be fully happy.
I am SUDHA IYER MENON.
Life is really very beautiful . But how we live it is the most important question . I can be HAPPY OR SAD , SELFISH OR SELFLESS ... so it depends on me how i live it and what i do. Do i live and let live or i LIVE AND MAKE OTHERS MISERABLE . :):):)
Everything depends upon my attitude , how much positive i am , am i strong or weak , can i deal wid the harsh realities of life , am i self reliant ? . The conclusion , i feel is that i must become STRONG , POSITIVE , SELF DEPENDENT , HAPPY , CHEERFUL PERSON . How the hell do i do that??? I must believe in myself 100 % , and i shud realise that i have the full potential inside me to become HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL . I must always strive to become a better person , overcome my weaknesses and stand up on my own. How do i do that???
FAITH IS THE KEY .
Thru FAITH ONE CAN overcome anything and everything in life. Only FAITH enables me to become ABSOLUTE LY HAPPY .
GOD has created life and i feel its indeed very good. I as a person has realized that it shud be lived 100 % . There comes a big challenge. How am i suppose to do that. I find it so very difficult.
As some time i am happy , sometime i am sad , smtime i am angry , smtime i am irritated , smtime i am a lovable person , smtime i am being hated....... OOPS.....so many versions in one life......wer is the time to think abt the world outside , wer its people are suffering , cities are burning because of terrorism .....no food and shelter for so many people......................................
WORLD OUTSIDE IS VERY VERY DISTURBING...........................................................................
But i learn everyday that how i shud start thinking abt other people and live for other people as well. Until and unless everybody is HAPPY , i cannot be fully happy.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
"Sir" Tendulkar Just have look at the records held by Sachin Tendulkar. No wonder why British Prime Minister is suggesting him for the honor of Sir .........
New Records................1. Highest Run scorer in the Test Cricket
2. First Cricketer to pass 12000 run in the Test Cricket
Records Held by Sachin Tendulkar
1. Highest Run scorer in the ODI
2. Most number of hundreds in the ODI 41
3. Most number of nineties in the ODI
4. Most number of man of the matches(56) in the ODI's
5. Most number of man of the series(14) in ODI's
6. Best average for man of the matches in ODI's
7. First Cricketer to pass 10000 run in the ODI
8. First Cricketer to pass 15000 run in the ODI
9. He is the highest run scorer in the world cup (1,796 at an average of 59.87 as on 20 March 2007)
10. Most number of the man of the matches in the world cup
11. Most number of runs 1996 world cup 523 runs in the 1996 Cricket World Cup at an average of 87.16 12. Most number of runs in the 2003 world cup 673 runs in 2003 Cricket World Cup, highest by any player in a single Cricket World Cup
13. He was Player of the World Cup Tournament in the 2003 Cricket World Cup.
14. Most number of Fifties in ODI's 87 15. Appeared in Most Number of ODI's 407
16. He is the only player to be in top 10 ICC ranking for 10 years.
17. Most number of 100's in test's 38
18. He is one of the three batsmen to surpass 11,000 runs in Test cricket, and the first Indian to do so
19. He is thus far the only cricketer to receive the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, India 's highest sporting honor
20. In 2003, Wisden rated Tendulkar as d No. 1 and Richards at No. 2 in all time Greatest ODI player
21. In 2002, Wisden rated him as the second greatest Test batsman after Sir Donald Bradman. 22. he was involved in unbroken 664-run partnership in a Harris Shield game in 1988 with friend and team mate Vinod Kambli,
23. Tendulkar is the only player to score a century in all three of his Ranji Trophy, Duleep Trophy and Irani Trophy debuts
24. In 1992, at the age of 19, Tendulkar became the first overseas born player to represent Yorkshire
25. Tendulkar has been granted the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, Arjuna Award and Padma Shri by Indian government. He is the only Indian cricketer to get all of them.
26. Tendulkar has scored over 1000 runs in a calendar year in ODI's 7 times
27. Tendulkar has scored 1894 runs in calendar year in ODI's most by any batsman
28. He is the highest earning cricketer in the world
29. He has the least percentage of the man of the matches awards won when team looses a match.. Out of his 56 man of the match awards only 5 times India has lost.
30. Tendulkar most number man of match awards(10) against Australia
31. In August of 2003, Sachin Tendulkar was voted as the "Greatest Sportsman" of the country in the sport personalities category in the Best of India poll conducted by Zee News.
32. In November 2006, Time magazine named Tendulkar as one of the Asian Heroes.
33. In December 2006, he was named "Sports person of the Year
34. The current India Poised campaign run by The Times of India has nominated him as the Face of New India next to the likes of Amartya Sen and Mahatma Gandhi among others.
35. Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 50 centuries in international cricket 36. Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 75 centuries in international cricket:79 centuries
37. Has the most overall runs in cricket, (ODIs+Tests+Twenty20s), as of 30 June 2007 he had accumulated almost 26,000 runs overall.
38. Is second on the most number of runs in test cricket just after Brian Lara
39. Sachin Tendulkar with Sourav Ganguly hold the world record for the maximum number of runs scored by the opening partnership. They have put together 6,271 runs in 128 matches
40. The 20 century partnerships for opening pair with Sourav Ganguly is a world record
41. Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid hold the world record for the highest partnership in ODI matches when they scored 331 runs against New Zealand in 1999
42. Sachin Tendulkar has been involved in six 200 run partnerships in ODI matches - a record that he shares with Sourav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid
43. Most Centuries in a calendar year: 9 ODI centuries in 1998
44. Only player to have over 100 innings of 50+ runs (41 Centuries and 87 Fifties)(as of 18th Nov, 2007)
45. the only player ever to cross the 13,000-14,000 and 15,000 run marks IN ODI.
46. Highest individual score among Indian batsmen (186* against New Zealand at Hyderabad in 1999).
47. The score of 186* is listed the fifth highest score recorded in ODI matches
48. Tendulkar has scored over 1000 ODI runs against all major Cricketing nations.
49. Sachin was the fastest to reach 10,000 runs taking 259 innings and has the highest batting average among batsmen with over 10,000 ODI runs
50. Most number of Stadium Appearances: 90 different Grounds
51. Consecutive ODI Appearances: 185
52. On his debut, Sachin Tendulkar was the second youngest debutant in the world
53. When Tendulkar scored his maiden century in 1990, he was the second youngest to score a century
54. Tendulkar's record of five test centuries before he turned 20 is a current world record
55. Tendulkar holds the current record (217 against NZ in 1999/00 Season) for the highest score in Test cricket by an Indian when captaining the side
56. Tendulkar has scored centuries against all test playing nations.[7] He was the third batman to achieve the distinction after Steve Waugh and Gary Kirsten
57. Tendulkar has 4 seasons in test cricket with 1000 or more runs - 2002 (1392 runs), 1999 (1088 runs), 2001 (1003 runs) and 1997 (1000 runs).[6] Gavaskar is the only other Indian with four seasons of 1000+ runs
58. He is second most number of seasons with over 1000 runs in world.
59. On 3 January 2007 Sachin Tendulkar (5751) edged past Brian Lara's (5736) world record of runs scored in Tests away from home
60. Tendulkar and Brian Lara are the fastest to score 10,000 runs in Test cricket history. Both of them achieved this in 195 innings
61. Second Indian after Sunil Gavaskar to make over 10,000 runs in Test matches
62. Became the first Indian to surpass the 11,000 Test run mark and the third International player behind Allan Border and Brian Lara.
63. Tendulkar is fourth on the list of players with most Test caps. Steve Waugh (168 Tests), Allan Border (158 Tests), Shane Warne (145 Tests) have appeared in more games than Tendulkar
64. Tendulkar has played the most number of Test Matches(144) for India (Kapil Dev is second with 131 Test appearances).
65. First to 25,000 international runs
66. Tendulkar's 25,016 runs in international cricket include 14,537 runs in ODI's, 10,469 Tests runs and 10 runs in the lone Twenty20 that India has played.
67. On December 10, 2005, Tendulkar made his 35th century in Tests at Delhi against Sri Lanka . He surpassed Sunil Gavaskar's record of 34 centuries to become the man with the most number of hundreds in Test cricket.
68. Tendulkar is the only player who has 150 wkts and more than 15000 runs in ODI
69. Tendulkar is the only player who has 40 wkts and more than 11000 runs in Tests 70. Only batsman to have 100 hundreds in the first class cricket
So Pass this to all your friends who are indians and take pride to be an indian !!!!!
New Records................1. Highest Run scorer in the Test Cricket
2. First Cricketer to pass 12000 run in the Test Cricket
Records Held by Sachin Tendulkar
1. Highest Run scorer in the ODI
2. Most number of hundreds in the ODI 41
3. Most number of nineties in the ODI
4. Most number of man of the matches(56) in the ODI's
5. Most number of man of the series(14) in ODI's
6. Best average for man of the matches in ODI's
7. First Cricketer to pass 10000 run in the ODI
8. First Cricketer to pass 15000 run in the ODI
9. He is the highest run scorer in the world cup (1,796 at an average of 59.87 as on 20 March 2007)
10. Most number of the man of the matches in the world cup
11. Most number of runs 1996 world cup 523 runs in the 1996 Cricket World Cup at an average of 87.16 12. Most number of runs in the 2003 world cup 673 runs in 2003 Cricket World Cup, highest by any player in a single Cricket World Cup
13. He was Player of the World Cup Tournament in the 2003 Cricket World Cup.
14. Most number of Fifties in ODI's 87 15. Appeared in Most Number of ODI's 407
16. He is the only player to be in top 10 ICC ranking for 10 years.
17. Most number of 100's in test's 38
18. He is one of the three batsmen to surpass 11,000 runs in Test cricket, and the first Indian to do so
19. He is thus far the only cricketer to receive the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, India 's highest sporting honor
20. In 2003, Wisden rated Tendulkar as d No. 1 and Richards at No. 2 in all time Greatest ODI player
21. In 2002, Wisden rated him as the second greatest Test batsman after Sir Donald Bradman. 22. he was involved in unbroken 664-run partnership in a Harris Shield game in 1988 with friend and team mate Vinod Kambli,
23. Tendulkar is the only player to score a century in all three of his Ranji Trophy, Duleep Trophy and Irani Trophy debuts
24. In 1992, at the age of 19, Tendulkar became the first overseas born player to represent Yorkshire
25. Tendulkar has been granted the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, Arjuna Award and Padma Shri by Indian government. He is the only Indian cricketer to get all of them.
26. Tendulkar has scored over 1000 runs in a calendar year in ODI's 7 times
27. Tendulkar has scored 1894 runs in calendar year in ODI's most by any batsman
28. He is the highest earning cricketer in the world
29. He has the least percentage of the man of the matches awards won when team looses a match.. Out of his 56 man of the match awards only 5 times India has lost.
30. Tendulkar most number man of match awards(10) against Australia
31. In August of 2003, Sachin Tendulkar was voted as the "Greatest Sportsman" of the country in the sport personalities category in the Best of India poll conducted by Zee News.
32. In November 2006, Time magazine named Tendulkar as one of the Asian Heroes.
33. In December 2006, he was named "Sports person of the Year
34. The current India Poised campaign run by The Times of India has nominated him as the Face of New India next to the likes of Amartya Sen and Mahatma Gandhi among others.
35. Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 50 centuries in international cricket 36. Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 75 centuries in international cricket:79 centuries
37. Has the most overall runs in cricket, (ODIs+Tests+Twenty20s), as of 30 June 2007 he had accumulated almost 26,000 runs overall.
38. Is second on the most number of runs in test cricket just after Brian Lara
39. Sachin Tendulkar with Sourav Ganguly hold the world record for the maximum number of runs scored by the opening partnership. They have put together 6,271 runs in 128 matches
40. The 20 century partnerships for opening pair with Sourav Ganguly is a world record
41. Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid hold the world record for the highest partnership in ODI matches when they scored 331 runs against New Zealand in 1999
42. Sachin Tendulkar has been involved in six 200 run partnerships in ODI matches - a record that he shares with Sourav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid
43. Most Centuries in a calendar year: 9 ODI centuries in 1998
44. Only player to have over 100 innings of 50+ runs (41 Centuries and 87 Fifties)(as of 18th Nov, 2007)
45. the only player ever to cross the 13,000-14,000 and 15,000 run marks IN ODI.
46. Highest individual score among Indian batsmen (186* against New Zealand at Hyderabad in 1999).
47. The score of 186* is listed the fifth highest score recorded in ODI matches
48. Tendulkar has scored over 1000 ODI runs against all major Cricketing nations.
49. Sachin was the fastest to reach 10,000 runs taking 259 innings and has the highest batting average among batsmen with over 10,000 ODI runs
50. Most number of Stadium Appearances: 90 different Grounds
51. Consecutive ODI Appearances: 185
52. On his debut, Sachin Tendulkar was the second youngest debutant in the world
53. When Tendulkar scored his maiden century in 1990, he was the second youngest to score a century
54. Tendulkar's record of five test centuries before he turned 20 is a current world record
55. Tendulkar holds the current record (217 against NZ in 1999/00 Season) for the highest score in Test cricket by an Indian when captaining the side
56. Tendulkar has scored centuries against all test playing nations.[7] He was the third batman to achieve the distinction after Steve Waugh and Gary Kirsten
57. Tendulkar has 4 seasons in test cricket with 1000 or more runs - 2002 (1392 runs), 1999 (1088 runs), 2001 (1003 runs) and 1997 (1000 runs).[6] Gavaskar is the only other Indian with four seasons of 1000+ runs
58. He is second most number of seasons with over 1000 runs in world.
59. On 3 January 2007 Sachin Tendulkar (5751) edged past Brian Lara's (5736) world record of runs scored in Tests away from home
60. Tendulkar and Brian Lara are the fastest to score 10,000 runs in Test cricket history. Both of them achieved this in 195 innings
61. Second Indian after Sunil Gavaskar to make over 10,000 runs in Test matches
62. Became the first Indian to surpass the 11,000 Test run mark and the third International player behind Allan Border and Brian Lara.
63. Tendulkar is fourth on the list of players with most Test caps. Steve Waugh (168 Tests), Allan Border (158 Tests), Shane Warne (145 Tests) have appeared in more games than Tendulkar
64. Tendulkar has played the most number of Test Matches(144) for India (Kapil Dev is second with 131 Test appearances).
65. First to 25,000 international runs
66. Tendulkar's 25,016 runs in international cricket include 14,537 runs in ODI's, 10,469 Tests runs and 10 runs in the lone Twenty20 that India has played.
67. On December 10, 2005, Tendulkar made his 35th century in Tests at Delhi against Sri Lanka . He surpassed Sunil Gavaskar's record of 34 centuries to become the man with the most number of hundreds in Test cricket.
68. Tendulkar is the only player who has 150 wkts and more than 15000 runs in ODI
69. Tendulkar is the only player who has 40 wkts and more than 11000 runs in Tests 70. Only batsman to have 100 hundreds in the first class cricket
So Pass this to all your friends who are indians and take pride to be an indian !!!!!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
AIDS...
AIDS..........
Hello Friends ,
AIDS , is really spreading very fast all over the World , even in INDIA. I dont consider it as a disease , but only as an infection and its a challenge like any other . But I really feel that one can still live happily and peacefully . The World does not come to an end . We all have problems, sickness , various karmas in our lives. The most important thing is how am i living ? with DIGNITY , INTEGRITY or SHAME ? NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ONE SHOULD NOT BE DEFEATED IN LIFE...SMILE .....!!! AND MOVE AHEAD...LIFE IS A STRUGGLE AND IT WILL REMAIN A STRUGGLE. BUT WE SHOULD SMILE , LAUGH AND TAKE THE JOURNEY OF LIFE...............HEADS ON ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Its another challenge thats it ! ... One can easily battle anything , even AIDS !
AS FAMILY , if we support our loved ones and be there for them , there is nothing which we cannot overcome...
Once when i read that families , dont take care of their loved ones or even Friends when they are battling with this infection and they even leave them to die or at the hospitals ... I was shocked !!! How can any one of us do that?
The only thing our dear ones require is our LOVE , SUPPORT , AFFECTION AND UNDERSTANDING . With these things with me i can surely prolong my life.........................................................................................................
LETS UNDERSTAND CORRECTLY , WHAT AIDS IS ? AND WHAT BEST CAN WE DO TO PREVENT IT ! LETS ALL SPREAD AIDS AWARENESS AND TELL PEOPLE THAT ITS JUST ANOTHER SICKNESS LIKE COLD ........
What is HIV?
HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS.
While many viruses can be controlled by the immune system, HIV targets and infects the same immune system cells that are supposed to protect us from illnesses. These are a type of white blood cell called CD4 cells.
HIV takes over CD4 cells and turns them into virus factories that produce thousands of viral copies. As the virus grows, it damages or kills CD4 cells, weakening the immune system.
What is AIDS?
AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. AIDS is the most advanced stage of HIV infection.
HIV causes AIDS by attacking the immune system’s soldiers – the CD4 cells. When the immune system loses too many CD4 cells, you are less able to fight off infection and can develop serious, often deadly, infections. These are called opportunistic infections (OIs) because they take advantage of the body's weakened defenses.
When someone dies of AIDS, it is usually opportunistic infections or other long-term effects of HIV infection that cause death. AIDS refers to the body’s immune-compromised state that can no longer stop OIs from developing and becoming so deadly.
What is the Difference Between HIV and AIDS?
You don't have AIDS as soon as you are infected with HIV. You can be HIV+ for many years with no signs of disease, or only mild-to-moderate symptoms. But without treatment, HIV will eventually wear down the immune system in most people to the point that they develop more serious OIs.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines someone as having AIDS if he or she is HIV+ and meets one or both of these conditions:
Has had at least one of 21 AIDS-defining opportunistic infections
Has had a CD4 cell count (T-cell count) of 200 cells or less (a normal CD4 count varies by laboratory, but usually is in the 600 to 1,500 range)
How Do I Know if I Have HIV?
Most people can not tell that they have been exposed or infected. It can take up to 12 weeks for an HIV test to come back positive. However most people respond much faster. Within two to four weeks of exposure to HIV, you might have flu-like symptoms such as fever, swollen glands, muscle aches, or rash.
The only way to know for sure if you are infected is take an HIV test. If you are infected, your immune system will make antibodies to fight the virus. The HIV test looks for these antibodies. If you have them in your blood, it means that you have HIV infection.
Do I Need to Get Tested for HIV?
The CDC estimates that more than 25% of HIV+ people are unaware of their HIV status. Many of these people look and feel healthy and do not think they are at risk. But the truth is that anyone of any age, gender, race, sexual orientation, or social or economic class can become infected. It is your actions (or the actions taken against you), that put you at risk. You should be tested if:
You have had vaginal, anal, or oral sex without a condom
You have shared needles or syringes to inject drugs (including steroids or hormones)
You are uncertain of your partner’s status or your partner is HIV+
You are pregnant or are considering becoming pregnant
You have ever been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease
You have hepatitis C
Why Should I Get Tested?
If you test HIV+ there are effective medications to help you stay well. But you cannot get the health care and treatment you need if you do not know your HIV status. Being unaware of your status also makes it more likely to unknowingly pass HIV to others.
If you test HIV- you can take steps to stay that way. You can also spare yourself unnecessary worrying.
What Tests are Available?
The most common test for HIV is the antibody test (called ELISA). It can be done on blood, saliva, or urine. According to the CDC, it is more than 99% accurate. Results are generally available within two weeks. (There is a rapid ELISA test that gives results in less than half an hour.)
A positive result means your body has developed antibodies for HIV, so you are infected with the virus. To be completely certain, positive results are confirmed with a more sensitive test called the Western blot.
A negative result means your body has not developed antibodies and are probably not infected. To get truly accurate results, it's necessary to wait three to six months after your last possible exposure to the virus before being tested. That is because the immune system can take anywhere from three to twelve weeks to make antibodies. In this "window period," someone may get an unclear result or a false negative.
Where Can I Get Tested?
You can get tested at your doctor’s office, a clinic, the local health department facilities, or at a hospital. In addition, many states offer anonymous HIV testing. You can also purchase a kit that allows you to collect your own blood sample, send it to a lab for testing, and receive the results anonymously. (Only the "Home Access" brand kit is approved by the Food and Drug Administration.)
It is important to get tested at a site that provides counseling. Counselors can answer questions about high-risk behavior and suggest ways you can protect yourself and others in the future. People who test HIV+ can receive support and referrals to health care and other services. The counselor can help you through the whole testing process – from start to finish.
The CDC's National AIDS Hotline can answer questions about HIV testing and refer you to testing sites in your area:
1-800-342-2437 (English)
1-800-344-7432 (Spanish)
Is There a Vaccine to Prevent HIV Infection?
There is currently no vaccine available. The best way to prevent HIV is to use sterile needles and practice safer sex .
1
The American Foundation for AIDS Research. (2001). Facts about HIV/AIDS: Retrieved July 2003 from http://www.thebody.com/amfar/ounce.html.
2
Grossman, H. (ed.) (2004). Am I infected? (A complete guide to testing for HIV): Retrieved July 2003 from http://www.aidsmeds.com/lessons/HIVtests1.htm.
3
National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease. (2000). HIV infection and AIDS: An overview: Retrieved July 2003 from http://www.thebody.com/niaid/stds/aids.html.
4
The New Mexico AIDS InfoNet. (2001). Fact Sheet 101: What is AIDS?: Retrieved July 2003 from http://www.aidsinfonet.org/articles.php?articleID=101.
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Information provided on this website is for educational purposes only. It is designed to support, not replace, personal medical care and should never be used as a substitute for personal medical attention, diagnosis, or hands-on treatment. We recommend all medical decisions be made in consultation with your personal health care provider.
Living with and managing HIV disease requires a thorough understanding of the treatments that are available to you. It also demands that drug companies develop new and more effective HIV drugs through clinical trials and research. If you’re frustrated about the lack of information specific to women, consider participating in a clinical trial (there are many kinds)! Even if you don’t participate in a drug study, you’re still helping us learn more about HIV disease in women!
HIV causes illness and problems for you by attacking your immune system. When this happens, other diseases and conditions may occur because of your weakened immune system or because of the long term affect of HIV on your body. Some are Opportunistic Infections (also called AIDS defining illnesses), some are toxicities or side effects related to anti-HIV drugs, while others are diseases and conditions that may happen to people with or without HIV
We all know that it is important to take care of ourselves. When we eat right, get good rest and exercise, we feel better! It’s easy to know this, but harder to live by it when you are HIV+. HIV drugs can have debilitating side effects, or simply make you tired. When we are sick, it’s often even harder to take good care of ourselves than when we are well. Our families need us, our jobs need us – and we have a habit of putting ourselves last. Learn to put yourself at the front of the line. If not first, at least nearly first! You’ll feel better and you’ll have more to give everyone else.
Sometimes you just want to know what something means to you – as a woman. Sure, there is lots of great information out there about HIV and AIDS, but it’s often hard to find out about how women, specifically, are affected. What does it mean to our bodies? Our menstrual cycle? Our reproductive system? What about dating? Pregnancy? The Women’s Center is here to answer those questions.
Are you Ready?
HIV drugs can improve quality of life and help HIV+ people stay healthier longer. But starting treatment is a big decision. In order to get the maximum benefit from the drugs, you need to make a commitment to taking them correctly. Commitment to the treatment is as important as the drugs themselves. So before you get started, make sure that you are ready to stick to it for the long haul! This takes a combination of the right doctor, enough knowledge about HIV, and the right attitude.
The Right Doctor
You and your doctor are a team working together to make the best treatment decisions for you. Ask yourself a few questions: Can I be totally honest with my doctor? Is he or she available when I have questions? Does he or she take my concerns seriously? If so, great!
If not, try to make changes. Write down the questions you’d like to ask your doctor before you go to visits. Answer your doctor’s questions with the truth, not with what you think the doctor wants to hear. If that still doesn’t work, it may be time to find another doctor.
It is also wise to have an HIV specialist for your care. Doctors who devote most of their time to HIV are best equipped to manage this complicated condition.
Knowledge about HIV
The Basics
HIV is a virus that infects and destroys CD4 cells. CD4 cells are part of the body’s immune system. The immune system protects the body from invaders. When the immune system loses too many CD4 cells, it becomes weak and is unable to fight off germs. At this point, you are vulnerable to AIDS-related opportunistic infections (OIs) that can cause serious illness or death.
HIV Treatments
Scientists have developed drugs that block HIV from reproducing (multiplying) at different stages of its life cycle. So far there are four classes of drugs:
Fusion inhibitors
Nucleoside/nucleotide reverse transcriptase inhibitors (“nukes” or NRTIs)
Non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors (“non-nukes” or NNRTIs)
Protease inhibitors (PIs)
These drugs are always used in combinations known as HAART. HAART stands for highly active antiretroviral therapy. HAART attacks HIV at different points using different drugs (usually from different classes). This is the best way to reduce the amount of HIV in your blood (viral load).
Blood Tests
Your doctor will use blood tests to monitor how you are doing. The CD4 count checks the strength of your immune system. The viral load test measures the amount of virus in your blood. When you use HIV drugs, you should see your viral load go down and your CD4 count go up. That’s how you can tell the medications are working.
Treatment Goals
To get viral load as low as possible for as long as possible
To preserve or regain immune system function by increasing CD4 cells
To improve quality of life and reduce illness and death
Treatment Guidelines
The government has put together a list of guidelines to help people decide when to start treatment:
Anyone with symptoms of AIDS (such as opportunistic infections) should start therapy
Anyone with a CD4 count less than 200 should start therapy
People with a CD4 count greater than 350 and viral load less than 55,000 can probably hold off on treatment
The guidelines are less clear in other situations. You and your doctor should review your numbers frequently and consider the risks and benefits of starting treatment earlier or later.
Benefits of Starting Early:
Earlier and easier reduction of viral load
Delay or prevent a weakened immune system
Stay healthier longer
Risks of Starting Early:
It can be hard to take drugs everyday
Drug-related side effects
May reduce future treatment options
No one knows how long the drugs will keep working
Benefits of Starting Later:
Avoid negative effects on quality of life
Avoid drug-related side effects
More treatment options for the future
Risks of Starting Later:
May have immune system damage that cannot be reversed or improved
May be harder to bring down viral load
Resistance
After starting HIV drugs, you should see your viral load decrease and your CD4 cells increase. Over time, however, some people see their viral load increase, even though they are still taking HIV drugs. When a drug becomes less effective against HIV, we say that HIV has become "resistant" to that drug. If you develop resistance you will have to change one or more drugs in your regimen.
Adherence
In order to get the maximum benefit from HIV therapy and reduce the chances of developing resistance, you must take your drugs on schedule. This is called adherence. Skipping doses, not taking the drugs on time, and not following food requirements can all cause your drugs to be less effective or to stop working altogether.
The Right Attitude
If you decide the time is right to start treatment, have a good attitude going in. Believe that:
Starting treatment is the right decision for you
The HIV medications will help you fight the virus
You can take your medications the right way
What ever decision you make, don’t go it alone. Put together a support system including your doctor, nurses, social workers, and case managers. You may want to join a support group of other HIV+ people. Family and friends can help too.
The more you think and talk about your decision, the better the outcome. What ever you decide to do, keep going to your doctor for regular check ups and blood work.
1
Peiperl, L. & Coffey, S. (2003). Overview of antiretroviral drugs: Retrieved July 2003 from http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/InSite.jsp?page=ar-drugs.
2
Sterling, T. (2003). When to start HAART, and what to start. Hopkins AIDS Report: Retrieved July 2003 from http://hopkins-aids.edu/publications/report/mar03_4.html.
3
U.S. Department of Health and Human Service AIDSInfo. (2004). Antiretroviral treatment: Adult and adolescent guidelines: Retrieved July 2003 from http://aidsinfo.nih.gov/guidelines/default_db2.asp?id=
Basic Facts
While many viruses can be controlled by the immune system, HIV targets and infects the same immune system cells that are supposed to protect us from illnesses. These are a type of white blood cell called CD4 cells. HIV takes over CD4 cells and turns them into virus factories that produce thousands of viral copies. As the virus grows, it damages or kills CD4 cells, weakening the immune system.
When the immune system loses too many CD4 cells, you are less able to fight off infection and can develop serious illnesses, cancers, and neurological problems. These are called opportunistic infections (OIs) because they take advantage of the body's weakened defenses. OIs can lead to hospitalization and disability, and are responsible for most of the deaths in people with AIDS.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines an HIV+ person with a CD4 cell count of 200 or less as having AIDS. The CDC has also developed a list of more than 20 opportunistic infections that are considered AIDS-defining conditions. If you have HIV and one or more of these OIs, you have AIDS.
Even if your CD4 cell count goes back above 200 or an OI is successfully treated, you will still have a diagnosis of AIDS. This does not necessarily mean you are sick or will get sick in the future. It is just the system used by the government to count the number of people who have been diagnosed with AIDS.
Preventing and Treating OIs
The best way to prevent OIs is to keep your immune system as strong as possible by taking HIV drugs before your CD4 cell count falls too low (below 200). This allows the immune system to do its job of controlling infections.
If your CD4 cells do fall below 200, taking appropriate medication at certain CD4 cell levels can prevent many OIs from developing. Taking medication to prevent disease is called “prophylaxis.”
Effective treatment options are available in most cases if you do develop an OI. After you recover, you may still need to receive on-going maintenance treatment to prevent the OI from coming back.
You may be able to stop prophylaxis or maintenance treatments if your CD4 cell count goes up. You should not discontinue any treatment without discussing it first with your doctor.
OIs and Women
There are certain sex differences in OIs:
Men are eight times more likely than women to develop Kaposi's sarcoma (KS)
Women are more likely than men to develop bacterial pneumonia
Women may have higher rates of herpes simplex infections than men
Dysplasia is a pre-cancerous condition in the female reproductive system, It is often more severe and difficult to treat in HIV+ women than in HIV-negative women. Untreated dysplasia can lead to cervical cancer, a life-threatening illness and an AIDS-defining condition.
It is important for HIV+ women to have regular Pap smears and gynecological exams to identify infection, dysplasia, or cancer. In addition, HIV+ women should have regular lab tests and appointments with their HIV provider to monitor their health. On-going medical care allows for the effective prevention or early diagnosis and treatment of OIs.
Addiction and HIV
Addiction is a serious problem in the HIV community. Using drugs or alcohol can lead to exposure to HIV, but they can also cause severe physical, social, emotional, and psychological problems after a person becomes infected.
Some people get infected directly through addiction behaviors, such as re-using a needle that was contaminated with HIV. Some get infected indirectly as a result of drugs or alcohol, like getting drunk, going home with a stranger, and forgetting about safer sex.
Recognizing Addiction
Do you have a problem with addiction? Take a quick quiz to find out: (The questions ask about drinking, but you can substitute the words “drug use.”)
Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning (an eye-opener) to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover?
If you answered yes to one question, you might have a problem with drug or alcohol abuse. If you answered yes to two or more, chances are good that you are addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Problems Caused by Addiction for HIV+ People
Some HIV+ people get defensive about their drug or alcohol use. They say it’s tough living with a life-threatening disease, that they need something to help them relax, etc.
But the truth is that the combination of HIV and either drugs or alcohol can be deadly, either in the short run or the long run. Why?
Overdose
HIV infection can make your body more fragile. You may lose muscle mass and/or body fat. You may not be able to handle the same amount of drugs or alcohol you could tolerate in the old days – and can end up in the Emergency Room or worse as a result.
Non-Adherence
If you are overusing drugs or alcohol, chances are you are not taking your HIV and medications correctly. Remember, if you take your HIV drugs incorrectly, you take the risk that your virus will mutate and become resistant to the medications. Eventually, you could end up in a situation where none of the HIV medications will work for you.
Drug Interactions
Haven’t been honest with your physician about what street drugs you use, or how much alcohol you drink? You’re headed for trouble! You can end up with drug interactions. These can affect the levels of other drugs in your system – and make normal doses of medication end up as super-high or super-low in your system. Some combinations can even result in a heart attack or stroke.
HIV Acceleration
Want to make the HIV in your system go wild, and cross the barrier into your brain faster? Do some cocaine or crack – it’s like stepping on the gas pedal. Your HIV can progress much faster than normal, and you can also end up with HIV dementia, a disorder of the brain.
Risk Behaviors
Want to do something stupid? Get high or drunk. When your judgment is off, who knows what you’ll do – including putting yourself at risk for physical or sexual assault, or at risk for other sexually transmitted diseases. Think HIV is a drag? You’ll really be sorry if you add hepatitis C, anal or vaginal warts, and herpes!
Taking Care of Yourself
So if you know you have a problem with addiction, what do you do? There is no one right answer for everyone. Each person is different. But there are two basic steps:
1. Talk to your doctor -
Even if you are not ready to cut down or stop using drugs or alcohol, your HIV physician needs to know what you are doing in order to be able to treat you.
2. Consider your treatment options -
Inpatient or outpatient? Group counseling or individual? Twelve-step or not? A mental health professional, case manager, peer counselor, physician, nurse, or substance abuse professional can help you sort through the options and make healthy decisions. Many free or low cost recovery programs are available that you may not know about.
What is Exercise?
Exercise is activity that you do on a regular basis (every day, or several times a week) for the purpose of improving your health. Keep in mind that if it’s something you do every day as part of your job, it’s probably not exercise. Exercise needs to be outside of your daily routine.
That doesn’t mean that increasing your normal activities during the day can’t be helpful. Some studies have shown that adding small amounts of activity throughout the day can improve your health. This might mean taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking farther back in the parking lot, or walking to places less than a mile or two away.
Benefits of Exercise
Everyone knows that exercise can make you stronger, give you endurance, and strengthen your heart. But there are many benefits of exercise that are especially helpful for HIV+ people. An exercise routine can:
Increase muscle mass
Reduce fat around the waist (lipohypertrophy)
Lower total cholesterol and LDL (the bad cholesterol)
Raise HDL (the good cholesterol)
Lower triglycerides
Help control blood sugars
Strengthen bones (help prevent bone disease)
Strengthen your immune system
Reduce stress
Give you more energy throughout the day
Exercise and the Immune System
There is as strong connection between muscle mass and immunity. By increasing the size of your muscles, you may be able to slow the progression of your HIV. People who exercise often have higher CD4 cell counts and fewer side effects from HIV and HIV drugs.
Types of Exercise
Aerobic exercise uses oxygen to burn fat in your body. This is why people who are trying to lose weight often do lots of aerobic exercise. It is also called cardiovascular exercise, because it raises your heart rate and makes your heart stronger. Besides burning fat, it can increase your endurance, meaning that you don’t get tired as quickly when you use energy.
Weight-bearing exercise (also called resistance or strength training) is when you move weight with your muscles. When you do this your muscles tear, but when they heal they are bigger and stronger. It is important that when you do weight-bearing exercise, you wait until that part of the body is not sore anymore before you exercise it again. Your body needs plenty of time to heal the muscles.
What Type of Exercise Should I Do?
Aerobic exercises are good for people who want to lose weight, burn fat, increase endurance, lower cholesterol and triglycerides, or lower blood sugars. (In some HIV+ people, exercise may not lower cholesterol and triglycerides enough. If this is the case, speak to your doctor about lipid-lowering drugs.)
Some HIV+ people should not do aerobic exercise, such as those who are wasting or have very little body fat. Make sure that you ask your doctor if you have any conditions that keep you from doing aerobic exercise.
Weight-bearing exercise can be helpful for most HIV+ people. This type of exercise strengthens muscles and makes them bigger, which can help prevent or fight wasting. If you have had muscle loss, weight-bearing exercise is probably good for you. However, if you have osteoporosis (bone disease) or if you have been hurt recently, weight-bearing exercise could be dangerous, and you may need a physical therapist. Ask your doctor if weight-bearing exercise is okay for you.
Good Aerobic Exercises:
Fast walking
Jogging
Stair-climbing
Bicycling
Swimming
Good Weight-bearing Exercises:
Lifting weights with machines
Push-ups
Pull-ups
Squats or lunges
Dumbbells
How do I Start an Exercise Routine?
First of all, ask your doctor what types of exercise are okay for you. Then start slowly. Do what you can, but don’t overdo it. Be patient with your body and your workout.
Before you start your exercise program record your weight and the measurements of your arms, legs, chest, stomach, and hips. If possible, also check your body composition with a Bio-electrical Impedance Analysis (BIA). A BIA can be given in a doctor's office and takes only a few minutes. The test determines your body composition by calculating the amount of fat, muscle, and water in the body according to height, weight, sex, and age.
It may be helpful to set goals for yourself, such as increasing or decreasing some of your body measurements. If you are new to exercise, set simple goals for the frequency and duration of your workouts and increase them over time. Make sure your goals are realistic.
When doing aerobic exercise, walk at a pace where you could answer a question in a few words but you aren’t gasping for air. Try to work up to at least 30 minutes three times a week. If you have to start out with 10 minutes, that’s fine. Walk for 10 minutes, and in a couple of weeks add five minutes to your workout. Continue doing this until you are up to 30 minutes or more at least three times a week.
When doing weight-bearing exercise be sure to use slow, controlled movements. Don’t slam the weights down or drop them quickly on the way down. This is not helpful when trying to put on muscle and it can be dangerous. Try to work up to weight-bearing exercise at least three times a week for 30 minutes or more.
Most importantly, drink lots of water before, during, and after your workout. When you're feeling sick, either exercise less or stop for a while.
Starting an exercise routine requires commitment. It may take a while for you to get used to your routine, but don’t give up! If you are able, try hiring or talking to a certified fitness trainer to help you develop a good routine. Make sure to talk to your doctor about any exercise you are doing.
Sexual Harm Reduction
Most people know that serious, even life-threatening infections, like HIV, hepatitis and other sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) can be passed from one person to another through sex. One approach to lowering this risk is called "harm reduction." If you do not want to abstain from sex, harm reduction offers options to make sexual activity safer.
Safer sex isn’t only for the prevention of new HIV infections. It’s important for positives, too. A couple where both partners are HIV+ can use safer sex to prevent co-infection with other STDs that can weaken the immune system. Safer sex can also reduce the possibility of getting reinfected (also called superinfected) with a strain of HIV that is resistant to the drug regimen you are taking.
Since every sexual act that involves sexual fluids has at least some risk, safer sex means using barriers every time. Barriers include condoms (male and female), dental dams, latex gloves, and even plastic food wrap (not microwave-style plastic wrap). Barriers help reduce risk substantially.
Even though it is the safest thing to do, some couples do not always use barriers. If this is the case, you can still practice some kind of harm reduction.
Practicing Safer Sex
Sometimes the place to start in safer sex is to identify the riskiest thing you do and then think about how you could make that activity less risky. The following are some safer sex tips, starting with the most risky activities and moving to less risky activities:
Penetrative Sex (sex in anus or vagina)
Penetrative sex is considered the highest-risk activity. For both vaginal and anal sex, use latex condoms and lots of water-based lubricant (lube) to prevent the condom from breaking. Lube also helps condoms feel better.
If you’re not going to use condoms, try to reduce the friction by using a heavier lube that will help prevent small cuts or tears in the vagina, rectum or penis. (Because you’re not using latex, Vaseline or Crisco are better than water-based lubes since they last longer.) Also avoid getting semen in the body by having the man pull out before cumming.
Oral Sex
Different studies report different levels of risk for HIV infection during unprotected oral sex. However, most studies find that the risk is low. To make it safer, use latex condoms for oral sex on a man. If you perform oral sex without a condom, finish up with the hand, or spit semen out and rinse with a dental wash rather than swallowing.
Dental dams are large squares made from latex. Plastic food wrap (not microwave-style plastic wrap) is just as effective. Put some water-based lube on one side of the dam or plastic wrap. Then stretch the dam over the vagina or anus with the lubed side facing down. This gives you a thin barrier between your mouth and the vagina or anus.
If you don’t use a barrier, avoid getting precum, semen or vaginal fluids in your mouth. Avoid vaginal oral sex during menstruation to prevent contact with blood. Bad oral hygiene (bleeding gums, ulcers, gum disease) can make oral sex much riskier. Use a mint instead of brushing your teeth before sex.
Fisting, Handballing, or Fingering
Paper cuts and other openings in the skin can make your hands vulnerable to infection. Wearing latex gloves keeps you protected during hand-vagina or hand-anus sex. Adding lube to the outside of the gloves will increase your partner’s pleasure.
Other safer sex tips: Limit the time and frequency of penetrations. Try non-penetrative sex for a change. For example, consider mutual masturbation. Also get medical attention for any infections or health problems in the genital area.
Thinking it Through
Try and change your ways of thinking that make it difficult for you to practice safer sex. The things you think influence how you act.
Thought: "We slipped once and forgot to use a condom, so it's too late now."
New idea: It's never too late. Yes, even one exposure can be dangerous, but it's not as dangerous as a hundred exposures! If you slipped once, it's time to get back on the wagon.
Thought: "Safer sex is such a drag. It's no fun."
New idea: Here's a great chance to spice up your sex life. Why not take one of the workshops offered on "Eroticizing Safer Sex?" How about getting a book, video, or DVD about hot safer sex?
Thought: "I can't feel anything through condoms!"
New idea: Time to change brands! Getting free condoms at the health office or buying them at a drugstore may be cheap, but you're probably not getting the best around. Try some of the variety packs offered by mail-order sex supply catalogs or hit the "adult love" stores in your area for a better selection. The best condoms are thin but tough and transmit heat and sensation well.
Thought: "My partner absolutely refuses to use a condom."
New idea: How comfortable are you with someone who is willing to put your life at risk? This sounds like a serious issue, and it's probably not the only one in your relationship. Have you considered individual or couple's counseling?
Thought: "I can't suggest to my girl/guy that we get an HIV test. We've been together so long that s/he would take it as an insult."
New idea: How about presenting it as an act of love? "You know, I really love you. We've been together for a while, but we never got tested for HIV. I hate the thought that I could be putting you at risk, because I couldn't stand to hurt you. Why don't we go get tested together for our peace of mind?"
Sometimes the safest thing you can do in sex is keep a clear head. Sex when you are drunk or under the influence of drugs may be most likely to be unsafe.
Hello Friends ,
AIDS , is really spreading very fast all over the World , even in INDIA. I dont consider it as a disease , but only as an infection and its a challenge like any other . But I really feel that one can still live happily and peacefully . The World does not come to an end . We all have problems, sickness , various karmas in our lives. The most important thing is how am i living ? with DIGNITY , INTEGRITY or SHAME ? NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ONE SHOULD NOT BE DEFEATED IN LIFE...SMILE .....!!! AND MOVE AHEAD...LIFE IS A STRUGGLE AND IT WILL REMAIN A STRUGGLE. BUT WE SHOULD SMILE , LAUGH AND TAKE THE JOURNEY OF LIFE...............HEADS ON ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Its another challenge thats it ! ... One can easily battle anything , even AIDS !
AS FAMILY , if we support our loved ones and be there for them , there is nothing which we cannot overcome...
Once when i read that families , dont take care of their loved ones or even Friends when they are battling with this infection and they even leave them to die or at the hospitals ... I was shocked !!! How can any one of us do that?
The only thing our dear ones require is our LOVE , SUPPORT , AFFECTION AND UNDERSTANDING . With these things with me i can surely prolong my life.........................................................................................................
LETS UNDERSTAND CORRECTLY , WHAT AIDS IS ? AND WHAT BEST CAN WE DO TO PREVENT IT ! LETS ALL SPREAD AIDS AWARENESS AND TELL PEOPLE THAT ITS JUST ANOTHER SICKNESS LIKE COLD ........
What is HIV?
HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS.
While many viruses can be controlled by the immune system, HIV targets and infects the same immune system cells that are supposed to protect us from illnesses. These are a type of white blood cell called CD4 cells.
HIV takes over CD4 cells and turns them into virus factories that produce thousands of viral copies. As the virus grows, it damages or kills CD4 cells, weakening the immune system.
What is AIDS?
AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. AIDS is the most advanced stage of HIV infection.
HIV causes AIDS by attacking the immune system’s soldiers – the CD4 cells. When the immune system loses too many CD4 cells, you are less able to fight off infection and can develop serious, often deadly, infections. These are called opportunistic infections (OIs) because they take advantage of the body's weakened defenses.
When someone dies of AIDS, it is usually opportunistic infections or other long-term effects of HIV infection that cause death. AIDS refers to the body’s immune-compromised state that can no longer stop OIs from developing and becoming so deadly.
What is the Difference Between HIV and AIDS?
You don't have AIDS as soon as you are infected with HIV. You can be HIV+ for many years with no signs of disease, or only mild-to-moderate symptoms. But without treatment, HIV will eventually wear down the immune system in most people to the point that they develop more serious OIs.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines someone as having AIDS if he or she is HIV+ and meets one or both of these conditions:
Has had at least one of 21 AIDS-defining opportunistic infections
Has had a CD4 cell count (T-cell count) of 200 cells or less (a normal CD4 count varies by laboratory, but usually is in the 600 to 1,500 range)
How Do I Know if I Have HIV?
Most people can not tell that they have been exposed or infected. It can take up to 12 weeks for an HIV test to come back positive. However most people respond much faster. Within two to four weeks of exposure to HIV, you might have flu-like symptoms such as fever, swollen glands, muscle aches, or rash.
The only way to know for sure if you are infected is take an HIV test. If you are infected, your immune system will make antibodies to fight the virus. The HIV test looks for these antibodies. If you have them in your blood, it means that you have HIV infection.
Do I Need to Get Tested for HIV?
The CDC estimates that more than 25% of HIV+ people are unaware of their HIV status. Many of these people look and feel healthy and do not think they are at risk. But the truth is that anyone of any age, gender, race, sexual orientation, or social or economic class can become infected. It is your actions (or the actions taken against you), that put you at risk. You should be tested if:
You have had vaginal, anal, or oral sex without a condom
You have shared needles or syringes to inject drugs (including steroids or hormones)
You are uncertain of your partner’s status or your partner is HIV+
You are pregnant or are considering becoming pregnant
You have ever been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease
You have hepatitis C
Why Should I Get Tested?
If you test HIV+ there are effective medications to help you stay well. But you cannot get the health care and treatment you need if you do not know your HIV status. Being unaware of your status also makes it more likely to unknowingly pass HIV to others.
If you test HIV- you can take steps to stay that way. You can also spare yourself unnecessary worrying.
What Tests are Available?
The most common test for HIV is the antibody test (called ELISA). It can be done on blood, saliva, or urine. According to the CDC, it is more than 99% accurate. Results are generally available within two weeks. (There is a rapid ELISA test that gives results in less than half an hour.)
A positive result means your body has developed antibodies for HIV, so you are infected with the virus. To be completely certain, positive results are confirmed with a more sensitive test called the Western blot.
A negative result means your body has not developed antibodies and are probably not infected. To get truly accurate results, it's necessary to wait three to six months after your last possible exposure to the virus before being tested. That is because the immune system can take anywhere from three to twelve weeks to make antibodies. In this "window period," someone may get an unclear result or a false negative.
Where Can I Get Tested?
You can get tested at your doctor’s office, a clinic, the local health department facilities, or at a hospital. In addition, many states offer anonymous HIV testing. You can also purchase a kit that allows you to collect your own blood sample, send it to a lab for testing, and receive the results anonymously. (Only the "Home Access" brand kit is approved by the Food and Drug Administration.)
It is important to get tested at a site that provides counseling. Counselors can answer questions about high-risk behavior and suggest ways you can protect yourself and others in the future. People who test HIV+ can receive support and referrals to health care and other services. The counselor can help you through the whole testing process – from start to finish.
The CDC's National AIDS Hotline can answer questions about HIV testing and refer you to testing sites in your area:
1-800-342-2437 (English)
1-800-344-7432 (Spanish)
Is There a Vaccine to Prevent HIV Infection?
There is currently no vaccine available. The best way to prevent HIV is to use sterile needles and practice safer sex .
1
The American Foundation for AIDS Research. (2001). Facts about HIV/AIDS: Retrieved July 2003 from http://www.thebody.com/amfar/ounce.html.
2
Grossman, H. (ed.) (2004). Am I infected? (A complete guide to testing for HIV): Retrieved July 2003 from http://www.aidsmeds.com/lessons/HIVtests1.htm.
3
National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease. (2000). HIV infection and AIDS: An overview: Retrieved July 2003 from http://www.thebody.com/niaid/stds/aids.html.
4
The New Mexico AIDS InfoNet. (2001). Fact Sheet 101: What is AIDS?: Retrieved July 2003 from http://www.aidsinfonet.org/articles.php?articleID=101.
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Information provided on this website is for educational purposes only. It is designed to support, not replace, personal medical care and should never be used as a substitute for personal medical attention, diagnosis, or hands-on treatment. We recommend all medical decisions be made in consultation with your personal health care provider.
Living with and managing HIV disease requires a thorough understanding of the treatments that are available to you. It also demands that drug companies develop new and more effective HIV drugs through clinical trials and research. If you’re frustrated about the lack of information specific to women, consider participating in a clinical trial (there are many kinds)! Even if you don’t participate in a drug study, you’re still helping us learn more about HIV disease in women!
HIV causes illness and problems for you by attacking your immune system. When this happens, other diseases and conditions may occur because of your weakened immune system or because of the long term affect of HIV on your body. Some are Opportunistic Infections (also called AIDS defining illnesses), some are toxicities or side effects related to anti-HIV drugs, while others are diseases and conditions that may happen to people with or without HIV
We all know that it is important to take care of ourselves. When we eat right, get good rest and exercise, we feel better! It’s easy to know this, but harder to live by it when you are HIV+. HIV drugs can have debilitating side effects, or simply make you tired. When we are sick, it’s often even harder to take good care of ourselves than when we are well. Our families need us, our jobs need us – and we have a habit of putting ourselves last. Learn to put yourself at the front of the line. If not first, at least nearly first! You’ll feel better and you’ll have more to give everyone else.
Sometimes you just want to know what something means to you – as a woman. Sure, there is lots of great information out there about HIV and AIDS, but it’s often hard to find out about how women, specifically, are affected. What does it mean to our bodies? Our menstrual cycle? Our reproductive system? What about dating? Pregnancy? The Women’s Center is here to answer those questions.
Are you Ready?
HIV drugs can improve quality of life and help HIV+ people stay healthier longer. But starting treatment is a big decision. In order to get the maximum benefit from the drugs, you need to make a commitment to taking them correctly. Commitment to the treatment is as important as the drugs themselves. So before you get started, make sure that you are ready to stick to it for the long haul! This takes a combination of the right doctor, enough knowledge about HIV, and the right attitude.
The Right Doctor
You and your doctor are a team working together to make the best treatment decisions for you. Ask yourself a few questions: Can I be totally honest with my doctor? Is he or she available when I have questions? Does he or she take my concerns seriously? If so, great!
If not, try to make changes. Write down the questions you’d like to ask your doctor before you go to visits. Answer your doctor’s questions with the truth, not with what you think the doctor wants to hear. If that still doesn’t work, it may be time to find another doctor.
It is also wise to have an HIV specialist for your care. Doctors who devote most of their time to HIV are best equipped to manage this complicated condition.
Knowledge about HIV
The Basics
HIV is a virus that infects and destroys CD4 cells. CD4 cells are part of the body’s immune system. The immune system protects the body from invaders. When the immune system loses too many CD4 cells, it becomes weak and is unable to fight off germs. At this point, you are vulnerable to AIDS-related opportunistic infections (OIs) that can cause serious illness or death.
HIV Treatments
Scientists have developed drugs that block HIV from reproducing (multiplying) at different stages of its life cycle. So far there are four classes of drugs:
Fusion inhibitors
Nucleoside/nucleotide reverse transcriptase inhibitors (“nukes” or NRTIs)
Non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors (“non-nukes” or NNRTIs)
Protease inhibitors (PIs)
These drugs are always used in combinations known as HAART. HAART stands for highly active antiretroviral therapy. HAART attacks HIV at different points using different drugs (usually from different classes). This is the best way to reduce the amount of HIV in your blood (viral load).
Blood Tests
Your doctor will use blood tests to monitor how you are doing. The CD4 count checks the strength of your immune system. The viral load test measures the amount of virus in your blood. When you use HIV drugs, you should see your viral load go down and your CD4 count go up. That’s how you can tell the medications are working.
Treatment Goals
To get viral load as low as possible for as long as possible
To preserve or regain immune system function by increasing CD4 cells
To improve quality of life and reduce illness and death
Treatment Guidelines
The government has put together a list of guidelines to help people decide when to start treatment:
Anyone with symptoms of AIDS (such as opportunistic infections) should start therapy
Anyone with a CD4 count less than 200 should start therapy
People with a CD4 count greater than 350 and viral load less than 55,000 can probably hold off on treatment
The guidelines are less clear in other situations. You and your doctor should review your numbers frequently and consider the risks and benefits of starting treatment earlier or later.
Benefits of Starting Early:
Earlier and easier reduction of viral load
Delay or prevent a weakened immune system
Stay healthier longer
Risks of Starting Early:
It can be hard to take drugs everyday
Drug-related side effects
May reduce future treatment options
No one knows how long the drugs will keep working
Benefits of Starting Later:
Avoid negative effects on quality of life
Avoid drug-related side effects
More treatment options for the future
Risks of Starting Later:
May have immune system damage that cannot be reversed or improved
May be harder to bring down viral load
Resistance
After starting HIV drugs, you should see your viral load decrease and your CD4 cells increase. Over time, however, some people see their viral load increase, even though they are still taking HIV drugs. When a drug becomes less effective against HIV, we say that HIV has become "resistant" to that drug. If you develop resistance you will have to change one or more drugs in your regimen.
Adherence
In order to get the maximum benefit from HIV therapy and reduce the chances of developing resistance, you must take your drugs on schedule. This is called adherence. Skipping doses, not taking the drugs on time, and not following food requirements can all cause your drugs to be less effective or to stop working altogether.
The Right Attitude
If you decide the time is right to start treatment, have a good attitude going in. Believe that:
Starting treatment is the right decision for you
The HIV medications will help you fight the virus
You can take your medications the right way
What ever decision you make, don’t go it alone. Put together a support system including your doctor, nurses, social workers, and case managers. You may want to join a support group of other HIV+ people. Family and friends can help too.
The more you think and talk about your decision, the better the outcome. What ever you decide to do, keep going to your doctor for regular check ups and blood work.
1
Peiperl, L. & Coffey, S. (2003). Overview of antiretroviral drugs: Retrieved July 2003 from http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/InSite.jsp?page=ar-drugs.
2
Sterling, T. (2003). When to start HAART, and what to start. Hopkins AIDS Report: Retrieved July 2003 from http://hopkins-aids.edu/publications/report/mar03_4.html.
3
U.S. Department of Health and Human Service AIDSInfo. (2004). Antiretroviral treatment: Adult and adolescent guidelines: Retrieved July 2003 from http://aidsinfo.nih.gov/guidelines/default_db2.asp?id=
Basic Facts
While many viruses can be controlled by the immune system, HIV targets and infects the same immune system cells that are supposed to protect us from illnesses. These are a type of white blood cell called CD4 cells. HIV takes over CD4 cells and turns them into virus factories that produce thousands of viral copies. As the virus grows, it damages or kills CD4 cells, weakening the immune system.
When the immune system loses too many CD4 cells, you are less able to fight off infection and can develop serious illnesses, cancers, and neurological problems. These are called opportunistic infections (OIs) because they take advantage of the body's weakened defenses. OIs can lead to hospitalization and disability, and are responsible for most of the deaths in people with AIDS.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines an HIV+ person with a CD4 cell count of 200 or less as having AIDS. The CDC has also developed a list of more than 20 opportunistic infections that are considered AIDS-defining conditions. If you have HIV and one or more of these OIs, you have AIDS.
Even if your CD4 cell count goes back above 200 or an OI is successfully treated, you will still have a diagnosis of AIDS. This does not necessarily mean you are sick or will get sick in the future. It is just the system used by the government to count the number of people who have been diagnosed with AIDS.
Preventing and Treating OIs
The best way to prevent OIs is to keep your immune system as strong as possible by taking HIV drugs before your CD4 cell count falls too low (below 200). This allows the immune system to do its job of controlling infections.
If your CD4 cells do fall below 200, taking appropriate medication at certain CD4 cell levels can prevent many OIs from developing. Taking medication to prevent disease is called “prophylaxis.”
Effective treatment options are available in most cases if you do develop an OI. After you recover, you may still need to receive on-going maintenance treatment to prevent the OI from coming back.
You may be able to stop prophylaxis or maintenance treatments if your CD4 cell count goes up. You should not discontinue any treatment without discussing it first with your doctor.
OIs and Women
There are certain sex differences in OIs:
Men are eight times more likely than women to develop Kaposi's sarcoma (KS)
Women are more likely than men to develop bacterial pneumonia
Women may have higher rates of herpes simplex infections than men
Dysplasia is a pre-cancerous condition in the female reproductive system, It is often more severe and difficult to treat in HIV+ women than in HIV-negative women. Untreated dysplasia can lead to cervical cancer, a life-threatening illness and an AIDS-defining condition.
It is important for HIV+ women to have regular Pap smears and gynecological exams to identify infection, dysplasia, or cancer. In addition, HIV+ women should have regular lab tests and appointments with their HIV provider to monitor their health. On-going medical care allows for the effective prevention or early diagnosis and treatment of OIs.
Addiction and HIV
Addiction is a serious problem in the HIV community. Using drugs or alcohol can lead to exposure to HIV, but they can also cause severe physical, social, emotional, and psychological problems after a person becomes infected.
Some people get infected directly through addiction behaviors, such as re-using a needle that was contaminated with HIV. Some get infected indirectly as a result of drugs or alcohol, like getting drunk, going home with a stranger, and forgetting about safer sex.
Recognizing Addiction
Do you have a problem with addiction? Take a quick quiz to find out: (The questions ask about drinking, but you can substitute the words “drug use.”)
Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning (an eye-opener) to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover?
If you answered yes to one question, you might have a problem with drug or alcohol abuse. If you answered yes to two or more, chances are good that you are addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Problems Caused by Addiction for HIV+ People
Some HIV+ people get defensive about their drug or alcohol use. They say it’s tough living with a life-threatening disease, that they need something to help them relax, etc.
But the truth is that the combination of HIV and either drugs or alcohol can be deadly, either in the short run or the long run. Why?
Overdose
HIV infection can make your body more fragile. You may lose muscle mass and/or body fat. You may not be able to handle the same amount of drugs or alcohol you could tolerate in the old days – and can end up in the Emergency Room or worse as a result.
Non-Adherence
If you are overusing drugs or alcohol, chances are you are not taking your HIV and medications correctly. Remember, if you take your HIV drugs incorrectly, you take the risk that your virus will mutate and become resistant to the medications. Eventually, you could end up in a situation where none of the HIV medications will work for you.
Drug Interactions
Haven’t been honest with your physician about what street drugs you use, or how much alcohol you drink? You’re headed for trouble! You can end up with drug interactions. These can affect the levels of other drugs in your system – and make normal doses of medication end up as super-high or super-low in your system. Some combinations can even result in a heart attack or stroke.
HIV Acceleration
Want to make the HIV in your system go wild, and cross the barrier into your brain faster? Do some cocaine or crack – it’s like stepping on the gas pedal. Your HIV can progress much faster than normal, and you can also end up with HIV dementia, a disorder of the brain.
Risk Behaviors
Want to do something stupid? Get high or drunk. When your judgment is off, who knows what you’ll do – including putting yourself at risk for physical or sexual assault, or at risk for other sexually transmitted diseases. Think HIV is a drag? You’ll really be sorry if you add hepatitis C, anal or vaginal warts, and herpes!
Taking Care of Yourself
So if you know you have a problem with addiction, what do you do? There is no one right answer for everyone. Each person is different. But there are two basic steps:
1. Talk to your doctor -
Even if you are not ready to cut down or stop using drugs or alcohol, your HIV physician needs to know what you are doing in order to be able to treat you.
2. Consider your treatment options -
Inpatient or outpatient? Group counseling or individual? Twelve-step or not? A mental health professional, case manager, peer counselor, physician, nurse, or substance abuse professional can help you sort through the options and make healthy decisions. Many free or low cost recovery programs are available that you may not know about.
What is Exercise?
Exercise is activity that you do on a regular basis (every day, or several times a week) for the purpose of improving your health. Keep in mind that if it’s something you do every day as part of your job, it’s probably not exercise. Exercise needs to be outside of your daily routine.
That doesn’t mean that increasing your normal activities during the day can’t be helpful. Some studies have shown that adding small amounts of activity throughout the day can improve your health. This might mean taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking farther back in the parking lot, or walking to places less than a mile or two away.
Benefits of Exercise
Everyone knows that exercise can make you stronger, give you endurance, and strengthen your heart. But there are many benefits of exercise that are especially helpful for HIV+ people. An exercise routine can:
Increase muscle mass
Reduce fat around the waist (lipohypertrophy)
Lower total cholesterol and LDL (the bad cholesterol)
Raise HDL (the good cholesterol)
Lower triglycerides
Help control blood sugars
Strengthen bones (help prevent bone disease)
Strengthen your immune system
Reduce stress
Give you more energy throughout the day
Exercise and the Immune System
There is as strong connection between muscle mass and immunity. By increasing the size of your muscles, you may be able to slow the progression of your HIV. People who exercise often have higher CD4 cell counts and fewer side effects from HIV and HIV drugs.
Types of Exercise
Aerobic exercise uses oxygen to burn fat in your body. This is why people who are trying to lose weight often do lots of aerobic exercise. It is also called cardiovascular exercise, because it raises your heart rate and makes your heart stronger. Besides burning fat, it can increase your endurance, meaning that you don’t get tired as quickly when you use energy.
Weight-bearing exercise (also called resistance or strength training) is when you move weight with your muscles. When you do this your muscles tear, but when they heal they are bigger and stronger. It is important that when you do weight-bearing exercise, you wait until that part of the body is not sore anymore before you exercise it again. Your body needs plenty of time to heal the muscles.
What Type of Exercise Should I Do?
Aerobic exercises are good for people who want to lose weight, burn fat, increase endurance, lower cholesterol and triglycerides, or lower blood sugars. (In some HIV+ people, exercise may not lower cholesterol and triglycerides enough. If this is the case, speak to your doctor about lipid-lowering drugs.)
Some HIV+ people should not do aerobic exercise, such as those who are wasting or have very little body fat. Make sure that you ask your doctor if you have any conditions that keep you from doing aerobic exercise.
Weight-bearing exercise can be helpful for most HIV+ people. This type of exercise strengthens muscles and makes them bigger, which can help prevent or fight wasting. If you have had muscle loss, weight-bearing exercise is probably good for you. However, if you have osteoporosis (bone disease) or if you have been hurt recently, weight-bearing exercise could be dangerous, and you may need a physical therapist. Ask your doctor if weight-bearing exercise is okay for you.
Good Aerobic Exercises:
Fast walking
Jogging
Stair-climbing
Bicycling
Swimming
Good Weight-bearing Exercises:
Lifting weights with machines
Push-ups
Pull-ups
Squats or lunges
Dumbbells
How do I Start an Exercise Routine?
First of all, ask your doctor what types of exercise are okay for you. Then start slowly. Do what you can, but don’t overdo it. Be patient with your body and your workout.
Before you start your exercise program record your weight and the measurements of your arms, legs, chest, stomach, and hips. If possible, also check your body composition with a Bio-electrical Impedance Analysis (BIA). A BIA can be given in a doctor's office and takes only a few minutes. The test determines your body composition by calculating the amount of fat, muscle, and water in the body according to height, weight, sex, and age.
It may be helpful to set goals for yourself, such as increasing or decreasing some of your body measurements. If you are new to exercise, set simple goals for the frequency and duration of your workouts and increase them over time. Make sure your goals are realistic.
When doing aerobic exercise, walk at a pace where you could answer a question in a few words but you aren’t gasping for air. Try to work up to at least 30 minutes three times a week. If you have to start out with 10 minutes, that’s fine. Walk for 10 minutes, and in a couple of weeks add five minutes to your workout. Continue doing this until you are up to 30 minutes or more at least three times a week.
When doing weight-bearing exercise be sure to use slow, controlled movements. Don’t slam the weights down or drop them quickly on the way down. This is not helpful when trying to put on muscle and it can be dangerous. Try to work up to weight-bearing exercise at least three times a week for 30 minutes or more.
Most importantly, drink lots of water before, during, and after your workout. When you're feeling sick, either exercise less or stop for a while.
Starting an exercise routine requires commitment. It may take a while for you to get used to your routine, but don’t give up! If you are able, try hiring or talking to a certified fitness trainer to help you develop a good routine. Make sure to talk to your doctor about any exercise you are doing.
Sexual Harm Reduction
Most people know that serious, even life-threatening infections, like HIV, hepatitis and other sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) can be passed from one person to another through sex. One approach to lowering this risk is called "harm reduction." If you do not want to abstain from sex, harm reduction offers options to make sexual activity safer.
Safer sex isn’t only for the prevention of new HIV infections. It’s important for positives, too. A couple where both partners are HIV+ can use safer sex to prevent co-infection with other STDs that can weaken the immune system. Safer sex can also reduce the possibility of getting reinfected (also called superinfected) with a strain of HIV that is resistant to the drug regimen you are taking.
Since every sexual act that involves sexual fluids has at least some risk, safer sex means using barriers every time. Barriers include condoms (male and female), dental dams, latex gloves, and even plastic food wrap (not microwave-style plastic wrap). Barriers help reduce risk substantially.
Even though it is the safest thing to do, some couples do not always use barriers. If this is the case, you can still practice some kind of harm reduction.
Practicing Safer Sex
Sometimes the place to start in safer sex is to identify the riskiest thing you do and then think about how you could make that activity less risky. The following are some safer sex tips, starting with the most risky activities and moving to less risky activities:
Penetrative Sex (sex in anus or vagina)
Penetrative sex is considered the highest-risk activity. For both vaginal and anal sex, use latex condoms and lots of water-based lubricant (lube) to prevent the condom from breaking. Lube also helps condoms feel better.
If you’re not going to use condoms, try to reduce the friction by using a heavier lube that will help prevent small cuts or tears in the vagina, rectum or penis. (Because you’re not using latex, Vaseline or Crisco are better than water-based lubes since they last longer.) Also avoid getting semen in the body by having the man pull out before cumming.
Oral Sex
Different studies report different levels of risk for HIV infection during unprotected oral sex. However, most studies find that the risk is low. To make it safer, use latex condoms for oral sex on a man. If you perform oral sex without a condom, finish up with the hand, or spit semen out and rinse with a dental wash rather than swallowing.
Dental dams are large squares made from latex. Plastic food wrap (not microwave-style plastic wrap) is just as effective. Put some water-based lube on one side of the dam or plastic wrap. Then stretch the dam over the vagina or anus with the lubed side facing down. This gives you a thin barrier between your mouth and the vagina or anus.
If you don’t use a barrier, avoid getting precum, semen or vaginal fluids in your mouth. Avoid vaginal oral sex during menstruation to prevent contact with blood. Bad oral hygiene (bleeding gums, ulcers, gum disease) can make oral sex much riskier. Use a mint instead of brushing your teeth before sex.
Fisting, Handballing, or Fingering
Paper cuts and other openings in the skin can make your hands vulnerable to infection. Wearing latex gloves keeps you protected during hand-vagina or hand-anus sex. Adding lube to the outside of the gloves will increase your partner’s pleasure.
Other safer sex tips: Limit the time and frequency of penetrations. Try non-penetrative sex for a change. For example, consider mutual masturbation. Also get medical attention for any infections or health problems in the genital area.
Thinking it Through
Try and change your ways of thinking that make it difficult for you to practice safer sex. The things you think influence how you act.
Thought: "We slipped once and forgot to use a condom, so it's too late now."
New idea: It's never too late. Yes, even one exposure can be dangerous, but it's not as dangerous as a hundred exposures! If you slipped once, it's time to get back on the wagon.
Thought: "Safer sex is such a drag. It's no fun."
New idea: Here's a great chance to spice up your sex life. Why not take one of the workshops offered on "Eroticizing Safer Sex?" How about getting a book, video, or DVD about hot safer sex?
Thought: "I can't feel anything through condoms!"
New idea: Time to change brands! Getting free condoms at the health office or buying them at a drugstore may be cheap, but you're probably not getting the best around. Try some of the variety packs offered by mail-order sex supply catalogs or hit the "adult love" stores in your area for a better selection. The best condoms are thin but tough and transmit heat and sensation well.
Thought: "My partner absolutely refuses to use a condom."
New idea: How comfortable are you with someone who is willing to put your life at risk? This sounds like a serious issue, and it's probably not the only one in your relationship. Have you considered individual or couple's counseling?
Thought: "I can't suggest to my girl/guy that we get an HIV test. We've been together so long that s/he would take it as an insult."
New idea: How about presenting it as an act of love? "You know, I really love you. We've been together for a while, but we never got tested for HIV. I hate the thought that I could be putting you at risk, because I couldn't stand to hurt you. Why don't we go get tested together for our peace of mind?"
Sometimes the safest thing you can do in sex is keep a clear head. Sex when you are drunk or under the influence of drugs may be most likely to be unsafe.
LETS ENSURE THAT WE ARE WELL AWARE OF ALL THE INFORMATION REGARDING SEX AND STAY HEALTHY AND HELP OTHER PEOPLE STAY HEALTHY !!! ....................................................................................................
Thursday, October 9, 2008
LOVE QUOTES
LOVE : THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ...IN THE WORLD...
Everybody have something to say about love. Be it cynical, meaningful, sad, cute or funny. the list goes on. Some quotes may inspire and strengthen your belief about love while other quotes can be treated as cute jokes that reflect the unpleasant parts of love. Either way, the fact this section exist already goes to show love is all around us. So, let your fingers do the clicking and show you what quotes we have to offer!
Welcome to the love quotes :........
Quote :
Two years I know its true I believe I fell in love with you I knew a year agoI know now and I knew it then That this love isn’t at short endThe time we spent The things we shared Although feelings for each other were mostly spared I love you and I don’t think you see but,I think that you are the one for meI try to give up and I end up where I startBut your never very far from my heart I love our connectionOur simple bind too Our love is so strong Yet so true And I cant help but feel it when I’m with you
Quote :
Love is odd it never makes any sense but it always there to make you feel loved
Quote :
..f u love sum1,,giv all the love u cn ofer,,dont evr wait d tymull jaz realize dat'''its too LATE!!!'''
Quote :
..loveis worthwithwait!!
Quote :
LOVESometimes It Does Hurt But Sometimes Does Not Hurt At All!!
Quote :
love is not the most important thing in the world...it is concern,trust and innocence...
Quote :
You don't know how hard the road to letting go is.... until your the one traveling on it...
Quote :
"Dear Sweetheart,Don't get worried the day when i forget you. Be proud that it will be the dooms day of my life"-
Quote :
old things as past away behold oldthings are become new,,,,,,,,,,,,
Quote :
someone once said the higher you are the greater the fall.im still rubbing my bruises since you left me.
Quote :
to my baby jasonI love the way you look at me,Your eyes so bright and brown.I love the way you kiss me,Your lips so soft and smooth.I love the way you make me so happy,And the ways you show you care.I love the way you say, "I Love You,"And the way you're always there.I love the way you touch me,Always sending chills down my spine.I love that you are with me,And glad that you are mine. I hopeYour lips speak soft sweetnessYour touch a cool caressI am lost in your magicMy heart beats within your chestI think of you each morningAnd dream of you each nightI think of your arms being around meAnd cannot express my delightNever have I fallenBut I am quickly on my wayYou hold a heart in your handsThat has never before been given awayI wrote your name in the sky,but the wind blew it away.I wrote your name in the sand,but the waves washed it away.I wrote your name in my heart,and forever it will stay.Love is the greatest feeling,Love is like a play,Love is what I feel for you,Each and every day,Love is like a smile,Love is like a song,Love is a great emotion,That keeps us going strong,I love you with my heart,My body and my soul,I love the way I keep loving,Like a love I can't control,So remember when your eyes meet mine,I love you with all my heart,And I have poured my entire soul into you,Right from the very start.I love you so deeply,I love you so much,I love the sound of your voiceAnd the way that we touch.I love your warm smileAnd your kind, thoughtful way,The joy that you bringTo my life every day.I love you todayAs I have from the start,And I'll love you foreverWith all of my heart.Love is like a lump of gold,Hard to get, and hard to hold.Of all the girls I've ever met,You're the one I can't forget.I do believe that God above,Created you for me to love.He chose you from all the rest,Because he knew I would love you best.
Quote :
4 my one and olni sxc jIf I could have just one wish,I would wish to wake up everydayto the sound of your breath on my neck,the warmth of your lips on my cheek,the touch of your fingers on my skin,and the feel of your heart beating with mine...Knowing that I could never find that feelingwith anyone other than you.
Quote :
If love can be avoided by simply closing our eyes, then I wouldn't blink at all for I don't want to let a second pass having fallen out of love with you.i love u
Quote :
the Biggest loss in life ,"Tears in sumone's eyes becoz of you..."The Biggest achivement of life,"Tears in sumone's eyes for u.."
Quote :
Dear Soul mateI dont have words to express my love for you. I had never imagined that there will be some one so caring , so loving and so attached with me . I cant see tears in your sparkling eyes. I can feel the warmth of your hands even in your absence. I am so attached with your soul that i can speak to you with out uttering single word. I can see in your eyes the love you are having in your heart. i feel blessed whenever i think of our relation. You r so cute just like a sweet sweet littl' baby. let me thank you for a beautiful gift you have given me i.e our daughter. I feel complete as i am having a son and a daughter. You make me feel different . I wanna love you every day , every hour , every min, every sec. I thank to God for these wonderful moments of my life. Always yours,Your Soulmate.
Quote :
There was a blind girl who hate herself because of being blind. She hate everyone except her boyfriend. One day the girl said that if she can only see the world she will marry her boyfriend. Then the next day, someone donated eyes to her and she saw everything including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her ,"now that you can see, will you marry me?". The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is also blind. And she refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away with tears and just said, "just take care of my eyes"...Ouch!!!
Quote :
YoU CAmE ARouNd ANd LiFtED Me UPiN TEArs i WaS DRoWNeDin PaiN i WaS inJUReDHeLD Me In UR aRMs Nd TOlD Me EvRYtHiNG wiLL Be AiTEwAT DO i DO???hOW CaN i TrUsT yOu iF He SaiD ThE SaMe....i WiLL ALWAYS LOVE U GORDO!!!TU CHiKiTA
Quote :
Loving someone who doesn't love you back or let alone even know how you feel is one of the worst pains ever....!!!
Quote :
a girl asked her boyfriend do you like me??he said noso she asked him do u think i'm pretty?he said noso she said if i were to walk away right now would u cry?and he said noso she said "i can't take this any more"and she turned to walk awaybut then he grabbed her hand and said..." i don't like you, i love you..i don't think your pretty, i think your beautiful...and if u were to walk away right now i wouldn't cry, I would DIE"
Quote :
a girl asked her boyfriend do you like me??he said noso she asked him do u think i'm pretty?he said noso she said if i were to walk away right now would u cry?and he said noso she said "i can't take this any more"and she turned to walk awaybut then he grabbed her hand and said..." i don't like you, i love you..i don't think your pretty, i think your beautiful...and if u were to walk away right now i wouldn't cry, I would DIE"
Quote :
love is blind deaf and dum...
Quote :
..It Drives you crazy.....It makes You Mad...It makes you jealousit makes you sad...it causes sleepless nights..it even breaks your heartnow come to think of it..is it healthy to fall in love??
Quote :
..don't lose the one you love when you can't afford to see him with other..simple,don't hold one love if you know you will left him..more simple, don't hold one person if you knew he was owned by someone else..most simple, don't hold one person if you had already another person holding....
Quote :
i wiSh i c0uld shout out eVeRy dAmN qUEsti0n iN mY miNd..but i'd rAtHer n0t..c0z i'd bE betTer ofF hAving a mInd dats c0nFused,tHaN a pIerced hEArt cAuSed bY aNswers i wIsh i'd nevEr hEard..:C¢¾sHAnz¢¾
Quote :
if i could reach out a single star for every moment you've made me smile, the entire universe would be in the palm of my hand ***if i could pick a flower for every moment i think of you, i could walk forever in my garden..
Quote :
Love is all around, You just need to look,And it will find you,You can read it like a book
Quote :
outside of my heart i wrote NO TRESPASSING but the love came and laughing by and said I ENTER EVERYWHERE
Quote :
the love i have for you is like the ocean you can see its beginning but the end.........by april kyn oquias
Quote :
i placed kisses on my palm, closed my fists tight and opened my hand to the wind, so that if someday you'll think of me out of the blue, probably because those kisses found their way to you, I LOVE YOU, BABY KO..
Quote :
There are sometimes when we hugged, when we kiss, when i would think, i should really treasure this moment, as it may really be the last. At your place before i left, i got this strange sense of foreboding... Well at least i know that, i really hugged u tightly then...It still irks me,piss me off and all that,that all ended just like that at times, or all the time.but thanks for all the memories u brought me...beautiful and delicious..
Quote :
every tear of sadness that we shed for a person we love is a capsule of memory that we have to leave behind. We fall in love so that we learn; we get hurt so that we will become strong; and we cry so that we can let go and find our place in the life of someone who will love us the way we have loved.
Quote :
they say past is pat, we need to move on... to see the future! But how can we move on? when our past is the only thing we ever wanted in the future!!!!!!!
Quote :
I'm not a saintI'm just a manWho had heaven and Earth In the palm of his handbut I threw it awaySo now I stand here today asking forgiveness and if you could just pleaseGive me another chance to write you another songAnd take back those thing's I've doneCause I'll give you my heart If you would let me start all over Again
Quote :
There are so many "I'll never forget"s I'll never forget the way you touched me, the way you smiled, etc.There are so many "I still love you"sThere are so many "I'll never forget you"sThere are so many questionsWhy did you go? Why did this happen? etc.I just wanna say that there is no point to dwelling over your past. Of course you should look back on memories and cherish them for all you're worth, no matter how painful, but looking back only for pain gets you no where. Keep on asking questions, but ask them for you not for pain, because it seems that everyone who has lost someone is driven by pain and suffering; something that will kill you in the end. The most popular question in my opinion is "Why me?"Well, why not you?
Quote :
if you say someone is heartless then ur dumb, no one can live without a heart, and when u say he/she ripped my heart out or why dont u just rip my heart out? then ur saying kill me or ur already dead!!!! think b 4 u speak!!!!-
Quote :
Beauty gets attention. Personality captures the heart.
Quote :
iloveyou
Quote :
To my Babygirl Lisa," What truly makes love strong is knowing you have to fight for it. the thrill of the fight is what keeps the love alive. We have encountered many obstacles, and we defeated them TOGETHER. Distance is another one of these obstacles. dont let it beat us. I LOVE U AND I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT YOUR THE ONLY ONE FOR ME EVERRRR.
Quote :
I saw..i fell...took another glimps..didn't know why it fealt so stronglike i knew you already..but i know i didn't.i caught myself thinking about youand i stoped my self.. thinking i was crazy for loving you and ended up thinking to my self that you where to good for me and just tried get busy w/ somthing eles to stop thinking about you for 2 years but thinking back about thoese years you neer left.you where always there everytime i looked at another girl... then you came out off no where..i was so confussed why i LOved so much you. Cause i fealt like i had no choice but to love you.you look so sad every time i saw you.i fealt so bad. my heart fealt like it was mealting as i walked away.seemed liked there was many unspoken words that leaft are hears broken.i never wanted to love you i just prayed that the good LOrd would send you the right man...later i fell deeper and wanted her in my arms...how knows when im see her agian...yet i thought to my self if this is really wut i think it is i won't ever loses you no matter how many years apart we are.....
Quote :
I saw..i fell...took another glimps..didn't know why it fealt so stronglike i knew you already..but i know i didn't.i caught myself thinking about youand i stoped my self.. thinking i was crazy for loving you and ended up thinking to my self that you where to good for me and just tried get busy w/ somthing eles to stop thinking about you for 2 years but thinking back about thoese years you neer left.you where always there everytime i looked at another girl... then you came out off no where..i was so confussed why i LOved so much you. Cause i fealt like i had no choice but to love you.you look so sad every time i saw you.i fealt so bad. my heart fealt like it was mealting as i walked away.seemed liked there was many unspoken words that leaft are hears broken.i never wanted to love you i just prayed that the good LOrd would send you the right man...later i fell deeper and wanted her in my arms...how knows when im see her agian...yet i thought to my self if this is really wut i think it is i won't ever loses you no matter how many years apart we are.....
Quote :
I saw..i fell...took another glimps..didn't know why it fealt so stronglike i knew you already..but i know i didn't.i caught myself thinking about youand i stoped my self.. thinking i was crazy for loving you and ended up thinking to my self that you where to good for me and just tried get busy w/ somthing eles to stop thinking about you for 2 years but thinking back about thoese years you neer left.you where always there everytime i looked at another girl... then you came out off no where..i was so confussed why i LOved so much you. Cause i fealt like i had no choice but to love you.you look so sad every time i saw you.i fealt so bad. my heart fealt like it was mealting as i walked away.seemed liked there was many unspoken words that leaft are hears broken.i never wanted to love you i just prayed that the good LOrd would send you the right man...later i fell deeper and wanted her in my arms...how knows when im see her agian...yet i thought to my self if this is really wut i think it is i won't ever loses you no matter how many years apart we are....
Quote :
Loving you is all i do, but loving me its up to you.
Loving you is all i do, but loving me its up to you.
Loving you is all i do, but loving me its up to you?
if i could reinvert the alphabet, i would put U and I together.
Everybody have something to say about love. Be it cynical, meaningful, sad, cute or funny. the list goes on. Some quotes may inspire and strengthen your belief about love while other quotes can be treated as cute jokes that reflect the unpleasant parts of love. Either way, the fact this section exist already goes to show love is all around us. So, let your fingers do the clicking and show you what quotes we have to offer!
Welcome to the love quotes :........
Quote :
Two years I know its true I believe I fell in love with you I knew a year agoI know now and I knew it then That this love isn’t at short endThe time we spent The things we shared Although feelings for each other were mostly spared I love you and I don’t think you see but,I think that you are the one for meI try to give up and I end up where I startBut your never very far from my heart I love our connectionOur simple bind too Our love is so strong Yet so true And I cant help but feel it when I’m with you
Quote :
Love is odd it never makes any sense but it always there to make you feel loved
Quote :
..f u love sum1,,giv all the love u cn ofer,,dont evr wait d tymull jaz realize dat'''its too LATE!!!'''
Quote :
..loveis worthwithwait!!
Quote :
LOVESometimes It Does Hurt But Sometimes Does Not Hurt At All!!
Quote :
love is not the most important thing in the world...it is concern,trust and innocence...
Quote :
You don't know how hard the road to letting go is.... until your the one traveling on it...
Quote :
"Dear Sweetheart,Don't get worried the day when i forget you. Be proud that it will be the dooms day of my life"-
Quote :
old things as past away behold oldthings are become new,,,,,,,,,,,,
Quote :
someone once said the higher you are the greater the fall.im still rubbing my bruises since you left me.
Quote :
to my baby jasonI love the way you look at me,Your eyes so bright and brown.I love the way you kiss me,Your lips so soft and smooth.I love the way you make me so happy,And the ways you show you care.I love the way you say, "I Love You,"And the way you're always there.I love the way you touch me,Always sending chills down my spine.I love that you are with me,And glad that you are mine. I hopeYour lips speak soft sweetnessYour touch a cool caressI am lost in your magicMy heart beats within your chestI think of you each morningAnd dream of you each nightI think of your arms being around meAnd cannot express my delightNever have I fallenBut I am quickly on my wayYou hold a heart in your handsThat has never before been given awayI wrote your name in the sky,but the wind blew it away.I wrote your name in the sand,but the waves washed it away.I wrote your name in my heart,and forever it will stay.Love is the greatest feeling,Love is like a play,Love is what I feel for you,Each and every day,Love is like a smile,Love is like a song,Love is a great emotion,That keeps us going strong,I love you with my heart,My body and my soul,I love the way I keep loving,Like a love I can't control,So remember when your eyes meet mine,I love you with all my heart,And I have poured my entire soul into you,Right from the very start.I love you so deeply,I love you so much,I love the sound of your voiceAnd the way that we touch.I love your warm smileAnd your kind, thoughtful way,The joy that you bringTo my life every day.I love you todayAs I have from the start,And I'll love you foreverWith all of my heart.Love is like a lump of gold,Hard to get, and hard to hold.Of all the girls I've ever met,You're the one I can't forget.I do believe that God above,Created you for me to love.He chose you from all the rest,Because he knew I would love you best.
Quote :
4 my one and olni sxc jIf I could have just one wish,I would wish to wake up everydayto the sound of your breath on my neck,the warmth of your lips on my cheek,the touch of your fingers on my skin,and the feel of your heart beating with mine...Knowing that I could never find that feelingwith anyone other than you.
Quote :
If love can be avoided by simply closing our eyes, then I wouldn't blink at all for I don't want to let a second pass having fallen out of love with you.i love u
Quote :
the Biggest loss in life ,"Tears in sumone's eyes becoz of you..."The Biggest achivement of life,"Tears in sumone's eyes for u.."
Quote :
Dear Soul mateI dont have words to express my love for you. I had never imagined that there will be some one so caring , so loving and so attached with me . I cant see tears in your sparkling eyes. I can feel the warmth of your hands even in your absence. I am so attached with your soul that i can speak to you with out uttering single word. I can see in your eyes the love you are having in your heart. i feel blessed whenever i think of our relation. You r so cute just like a sweet sweet littl' baby. let me thank you for a beautiful gift you have given me i.e our daughter. I feel complete as i am having a son and a daughter. You make me feel different . I wanna love you every day , every hour , every min, every sec. I thank to God for these wonderful moments of my life. Always yours,Your Soulmate.
Quote :
There was a blind girl who hate herself because of being blind. She hate everyone except her boyfriend. One day the girl said that if she can only see the world she will marry her boyfriend. Then the next day, someone donated eyes to her and she saw everything including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her ,"now that you can see, will you marry me?". The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is also blind. And she refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away with tears and just said, "just take care of my eyes"...Ouch!!!
Quote :
YoU CAmE ARouNd ANd LiFtED Me UPiN TEArs i WaS DRoWNeDin PaiN i WaS inJUReDHeLD Me In UR aRMs Nd TOlD Me EvRYtHiNG wiLL Be AiTEwAT DO i DO???hOW CaN i TrUsT yOu iF He SaiD ThE SaMe....i WiLL ALWAYS LOVE U GORDO!!!TU CHiKiTA
Quote :
Loving someone who doesn't love you back or let alone even know how you feel is one of the worst pains ever....!!!
Quote :
a girl asked her boyfriend do you like me??he said noso she asked him do u think i'm pretty?he said noso she said if i were to walk away right now would u cry?and he said noso she said "i can't take this any more"and she turned to walk awaybut then he grabbed her hand and said..." i don't like you, i love you..i don't think your pretty, i think your beautiful...and if u were to walk away right now i wouldn't cry, I would DIE"
Quote :
a girl asked her boyfriend do you like me??he said noso she asked him do u think i'm pretty?he said noso she said if i were to walk away right now would u cry?and he said noso she said "i can't take this any more"and she turned to walk awaybut then he grabbed her hand and said..." i don't like you, i love you..i don't think your pretty, i think your beautiful...and if u were to walk away right now i wouldn't cry, I would DIE"
Quote :
love is blind deaf and dum...
Quote :
..It Drives you crazy.....It makes You Mad...It makes you jealousit makes you sad...it causes sleepless nights..it even breaks your heartnow come to think of it..is it healthy to fall in love??
Quote :
..don't lose the one you love when you can't afford to see him with other..simple,don't hold one love if you know you will left him..more simple, don't hold one person if you knew he was owned by someone else..most simple, don't hold one person if you had already another person holding....
Quote :
i wiSh i c0uld shout out eVeRy dAmN qUEsti0n iN mY miNd..but i'd rAtHer n0t..c0z i'd bE betTer ofF hAving a mInd dats c0nFused,tHaN a pIerced hEArt cAuSed bY aNswers i wIsh i'd nevEr hEard..:C¢¾sHAnz¢¾
Quote :
if i could reach out a single star for every moment you've made me smile, the entire universe would be in the palm of my hand ***if i could pick a flower for every moment i think of you, i could walk forever in my garden..
Quote :
Love is all around, You just need to look,And it will find you,You can read it like a book
Quote :
outside of my heart i wrote NO TRESPASSING but the love came and laughing by and said I ENTER EVERYWHERE
Quote :
the love i have for you is like the ocean you can see its beginning but the end.........by april kyn oquias
Quote :
i placed kisses on my palm, closed my fists tight and opened my hand to the wind, so that if someday you'll think of me out of the blue, probably because those kisses found their way to you, I LOVE YOU, BABY KO..
Quote :
There are sometimes when we hugged, when we kiss, when i would think, i should really treasure this moment, as it may really be the last. At your place before i left, i got this strange sense of foreboding... Well at least i know that, i really hugged u tightly then...It still irks me,piss me off and all that,that all ended just like that at times, or all the time.but thanks for all the memories u brought me...beautiful and delicious..
Quote :
every tear of sadness that we shed for a person we love is a capsule of memory that we have to leave behind. We fall in love so that we learn; we get hurt so that we will become strong; and we cry so that we can let go and find our place in the life of someone who will love us the way we have loved.
Quote :
they say past is pat, we need to move on... to see the future! But how can we move on? when our past is the only thing we ever wanted in the future!!!!!!!
Quote :
I'm not a saintI'm just a manWho had heaven and Earth In the palm of his handbut I threw it awaySo now I stand here today asking forgiveness and if you could just pleaseGive me another chance to write you another songAnd take back those thing's I've doneCause I'll give you my heart If you would let me start all over Again
Quote :
There are so many "I'll never forget"s I'll never forget the way you touched me, the way you smiled, etc.There are so many "I still love you"sThere are so many "I'll never forget you"sThere are so many questionsWhy did you go? Why did this happen? etc.I just wanna say that there is no point to dwelling over your past. Of course you should look back on memories and cherish them for all you're worth, no matter how painful, but looking back only for pain gets you no where. Keep on asking questions, but ask them for you not for pain, because it seems that everyone who has lost someone is driven by pain and suffering; something that will kill you in the end. The most popular question in my opinion is "Why me?"Well, why not you?
Quote :
if you say someone is heartless then ur dumb, no one can live without a heart, and when u say he/she ripped my heart out or why dont u just rip my heart out? then ur saying kill me or ur already dead!!!! think b 4 u speak!!!!-
Quote :
Beauty gets attention. Personality captures the heart.
Quote :
iloveyou
Quote :
To my Babygirl Lisa," What truly makes love strong is knowing you have to fight for it. the thrill of the fight is what keeps the love alive. We have encountered many obstacles, and we defeated them TOGETHER. Distance is another one of these obstacles. dont let it beat us. I LOVE U AND I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT YOUR THE ONLY ONE FOR ME EVERRRR.
Quote :
I saw..i fell...took another glimps..didn't know why it fealt so stronglike i knew you already..but i know i didn't.i caught myself thinking about youand i stoped my self.. thinking i was crazy for loving you and ended up thinking to my self that you where to good for me and just tried get busy w/ somthing eles to stop thinking about you for 2 years but thinking back about thoese years you neer left.you where always there everytime i looked at another girl... then you came out off no where..i was so confussed why i LOved so much you. Cause i fealt like i had no choice but to love you.you look so sad every time i saw you.i fealt so bad. my heart fealt like it was mealting as i walked away.seemed liked there was many unspoken words that leaft are hears broken.i never wanted to love you i just prayed that the good LOrd would send you the right man...later i fell deeper and wanted her in my arms...how knows when im see her agian...yet i thought to my self if this is really wut i think it is i won't ever loses you no matter how many years apart we are.....
Quote :
I saw..i fell...took another glimps..didn't know why it fealt so stronglike i knew you already..but i know i didn't.i caught myself thinking about youand i stoped my self.. thinking i was crazy for loving you and ended up thinking to my self that you where to good for me and just tried get busy w/ somthing eles to stop thinking about you for 2 years but thinking back about thoese years you neer left.you where always there everytime i looked at another girl... then you came out off no where..i was so confussed why i LOved so much you. Cause i fealt like i had no choice but to love you.you look so sad every time i saw you.i fealt so bad. my heart fealt like it was mealting as i walked away.seemed liked there was many unspoken words that leaft are hears broken.i never wanted to love you i just prayed that the good LOrd would send you the right man...later i fell deeper and wanted her in my arms...how knows when im see her agian...yet i thought to my self if this is really wut i think it is i won't ever loses you no matter how many years apart we are.....
Quote :
I saw..i fell...took another glimps..didn't know why it fealt so stronglike i knew you already..but i know i didn't.i caught myself thinking about youand i stoped my self.. thinking i was crazy for loving you and ended up thinking to my self that you where to good for me and just tried get busy w/ somthing eles to stop thinking about you for 2 years but thinking back about thoese years you neer left.you where always there everytime i looked at another girl... then you came out off no where..i was so confussed why i LOved so much you. Cause i fealt like i had no choice but to love you.you look so sad every time i saw you.i fealt so bad. my heart fealt like it was mealting as i walked away.seemed liked there was many unspoken words that leaft are hears broken.i never wanted to love you i just prayed that the good LOrd would send you the right man...later i fell deeper and wanted her in my arms...how knows when im see her agian...yet i thought to my self if this is really wut i think it is i won't ever loses you no matter how many years apart we are....
Quote :
Loving you is all i do, but loving me its up to you.
Loving you is all i do, but loving me its up to you.
Loving you is all i do, but loving me its up to you?
if i could reinvert the alphabet, i would put U and I together.
LOVE STORIES
Disconnected From Reality
The past few days I have done a lot of soul searching. I am seated on American Airlines flight 234 headed to Miami for a seven day cruise and what’s suppose to be lots of rest and relaxation with the man who I have always thought of as my lifetime. Funny, how events in your life will alter the way you feel about life and everyone in it. From day to day, hour to hour, and minute to minute your life, feelings, and actions are constantly changing. Normally, I would be blissfully happy because we are together but today I am totally disgusted and nothing about my mood is pleasant. I bet he noticed it from the time I arrived in NY. I guess that is why he made no attempts at making love to me last night. His behavior is not like I remembered. Maybe he is just reacting to me. In any case at this point in my life I really don’t care. I am tired of short-changing myself. At this very moment I have made the decision to end things with him. I’m tired of always coming up short with him. I will just wait for the right time to tell him. Ten years is more than enough time to know what you want.The plane touched down, we retrieved our bags and caught a cab to the Ship. It felt like days before we reached our cabin and had a minute to relax. My heart was pounding so hard. My head was aching from the thoughts of everything that had happen to me this year and my soul was ready to give up. Another blow to my existence would destroy me. Now was the time to put all the cards on the table. “Dawson, we need to talk.” “Good, I was waiting for you to let me know what was going on with you. I understand you suffered a terrible lost this year but you really need to try and get yourself together and enjoy the rest of your life. You need to move on with your life Harlem.” My initial laugh was a slight chuckle but for some reason after repeating his comment in my head I began to laugh hysterically. “I know you are not telling me to move on with my life. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? I guess if I was moving on with my life I wouldn’t be here with you. You got your nerve. I am so tired of playing with you.” He looked shock. “Harlem, what did I do to you? Why are you so angry with me? I know things haven’t been easy for you but I refuse to let you take it out on me. I am here to have a good time and I hope you are not going to ruin that.” I turned to look at him and for the first time he looked like all the other sorry men whose impacted my life in such a negative way. Men have always let me down from day one. Never could I remember being showed any kind of affection by my father. My first marriage was affectionless and I spend eight years trying to mother my second husband. Nothing ever seems to go right for me. My last marriage was my one and only shot at getting everything I wanted. My husband was as good as a man could get. In him I had it all; my father, my protector, and my soul mate. Finally I got my piece of the pie but once again life pulled the rug from under me. Took me to the highest mountain, promised me the world, walked me to the edge, allowed me to admire the beautiful view, and then without warning pushed me over. Life to me had become the enemy. The edge was a distant memory for me. I had departed from it so long ago. Why hadn’t anyone noticed? Now I’m here with him and he’s attempting to walk me to yet another cliff. Well, little does Dawson know, cliffs don’t scare me anymore. So much of my life was wasted holding on to something that would never exist with him. I’ve always wanted something from him that he never intended to give me.This was the perfect moment to get everything out. No holds barred. “Dawson, let’s just be honest. You never wanted to give me everything, did you? You just wanted to continue to have your cake and eat it too. Well, let me be the first to tell you that life is not designed for any of us to have it all without compromising. I can’t believe how stupid I have been. Ten years! Ten wasted years! I can’t do this any longer. This is not even worth it anymore. I know what it feels like to have a man love me whole heartedly and Dawson you have never made me feel that way. As a matter of fact I don’t think you even came close.” Again he looked shocked. He looked crushed. I was on a roll so I needed to continue. “Yes, the sex has always been great. The dinners, the vacations, the calls, the excitement, everything was great but it’s not enough. It was never enough. I hate knowing being with you is always temporary. This vacation for Christ sake is seven days and seven days only. Then what am I suppose to do? Go back to my life and continue to wait for you. I hate that I don’t know anything about your personal life. We have known each other so long but you keep that part of you private. I guess I have never been or will ever be the one for you.”He looked hurt by what I said and what he said next left nothing else to discuss. “Harlem, from day one I have always been there for you. I met you while you were still in love with your first husband. I stood by and gave you everything you asked of me and asked for nothing in return. I have feelings and I hurt too. I never pressured you or gave you any ultimatums. I just played it cool and hoped one day I would have a chance with you. Then you left the country, married another guy and had a child. Yes, I was happy for you because you seemed happy but it hurt my heart. I had no choice but to move on with my life because that is what you did. When things with you and him was over you was strong in my life again but you always kept your options open. You never acted as if you wanted any more than what we shared. I admit I was scared and I didn’t want to play myself and get my feeling hurt by you again so I never pressed any issues. As soon as I started allowing myself to get into you again you, well you know what you did. Now because of how things worked out for you all of a sudden I am number one guy again. Well Harlem I don’t like being second best either. You are here, there, and everywhere and I don’t know where I fit. Your world is so crazy and changes from day to day it would wear me out anyway. I just wanted to come out here and have a good time and that is exactly what I am going to do. If you want to sit here and feel sorry for yourself be my guest but I am going to enjoy myself. I will see you later.”He left the cabin and I heard the horns blowing and the ship began to move. My head was hurting so bad, my heart was pounding a million miles a minute, I was sweating profusely, I was shaking uncontrollably, and tears was running down my face. I wanted the pain to stop. I never wanted anything so badly in my life. My sprit had left the cabin with him. He said a lot but never did he say what I wanted to hear. Simple words could have made all the difference. He was the one person who had the power to change the loneliness I was feeling. Why couldn’t he just say what I needed to hear? The walls were closing in on me. My thinking was distorted but I knew the pain I felt needed to end. Dawson has never asked for more than what we shared. He never would because for some unspoken reason I wasn’t worthy to him. I opened the door and walked out of the cabin. I needed to end all the pain once and for all. I wanted out and I begged God to accept me with open arms. This life had gotten the best of me and I had lost the will to live. I passed so many happy people. Couples were hugging, kissing, throwing confetti overboard, and laughing. Everyone looked like they were having tons and tons of fun. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt that way. Even if I did it was always so brief. I was so tired. Everyone was having so much fun they hadn’t even noticed the devastated state I was in. No one stopped me or asked if I needed any help. It felt like I was invisible. I searched and searched for the perfect spot. I decided to go to the top deck because it was less crowded and it was up high. I figured the closer I was to God the faster I would get home once it was all over. In an instant like a call being disconnected and a dial tone sounding in my ears my mind was made up. I knew exactly what I had to do. I started feeling so happy. All my problems would soon be a thing of the past. Now I was smiling and laughing and happy like everyone else. They were happy but I was experiencing another level of joy because I knew something they didn’t. I figured out how to end the pain once and for all. I felt like I had discovered the cure for cancer. When I reached the top deck it looked deserted. I thanked God for clearing it out for me. He was making sure nothing prevented me from coming home. I really felt confident by now that I was doing the right thing. He was reassuring me that it was ok. These were all signs and I knew it.The perfect spot appeared out of nowhere. Again I thank God. There was emergency box mounted besides the railing of the back end of the ship. It would be easy for me to climb up and over the railing, thanks to the box. I took one last look around and noticed no one around me. There were people scattered on the top deck but even if they reacted it would be too late. In a few minutes I would be home watching from up above ‘pain free’. As I climbed over the rail I repeated the words I had heard before, “Please have mercy on my soul.” Just as I jumped, I caught sight of Dawson running towards me. The fall just about took my breath but there was no denying the pain of hitting the freezing cold water. I never learned how to swim so I knew once I started to sink it was just a matter of seconds before I would be reunited with my maker. As I began to sink thoughts of my kids began to flood my head. I could see them crying and hurting. I thought, “Oh my god what have I done!” The entire time I was contemplating ending my life I hadn’t thought of my kids and how my actions were going to affect them. I remember holding each one of them in my arms at birth, their first steps, first day of school, first hugs, first kisses and the first time they said mommy. I began to panic because I knew I was wrong in wanting to leave them behind. I wanted to live but I knew it was too late. I was drowning and I knew it. I was sinking and with every second I was loosing control of my mind, body, and soul. The water was suffocating me and I was fading fast. I wondered what made me do such a crazy thing. How had I ended up in such a hopeless state of confusion? Why did I allow a man to push me over the edge like this? I wanted to live but it was crystal clear that it was too late. I pleaded for God to help me out of this helpless situation. Thoughts of the events leading up to this awful decision to self-destruct consumed my mind. What a difference one year can make. In one year I have become completely disconnected from reality.
The past few days I have done a lot of soul searching. I am seated on American Airlines flight 234 headed to Miami for a seven day cruise and what’s suppose to be lots of rest and relaxation with the man who I have always thought of as my lifetime. Funny, how events in your life will alter the way you feel about life and everyone in it. From day to day, hour to hour, and minute to minute your life, feelings, and actions are constantly changing. Normally, I would be blissfully happy because we are together but today I am totally disgusted and nothing about my mood is pleasant. I bet he noticed it from the time I arrived in NY. I guess that is why he made no attempts at making love to me last night. His behavior is not like I remembered. Maybe he is just reacting to me. In any case at this point in my life I really don’t care. I am tired of short-changing myself. At this very moment I have made the decision to end things with him. I’m tired of always coming up short with him. I will just wait for the right time to tell him. Ten years is more than enough time to know what you want.The plane touched down, we retrieved our bags and caught a cab to the Ship. It felt like days before we reached our cabin and had a minute to relax. My heart was pounding so hard. My head was aching from the thoughts of everything that had happen to me this year and my soul was ready to give up. Another blow to my existence would destroy me. Now was the time to put all the cards on the table. “Dawson, we need to talk.” “Good, I was waiting for you to let me know what was going on with you. I understand you suffered a terrible lost this year but you really need to try and get yourself together and enjoy the rest of your life. You need to move on with your life Harlem.” My initial laugh was a slight chuckle but for some reason after repeating his comment in my head I began to laugh hysterically. “I know you are not telling me to move on with my life. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? I guess if I was moving on with my life I wouldn’t be here with you. You got your nerve. I am so tired of playing with you.” He looked shock. “Harlem, what did I do to you? Why are you so angry with me? I know things haven’t been easy for you but I refuse to let you take it out on me. I am here to have a good time and I hope you are not going to ruin that.” I turned to look at him and for the first time he looked like all the other sorry men whose impacted my life in such a negative way. Men have always let me down from day one. Never could I remember being showed any kind of affection by my father. My first marriage was affectionless and I spend eight years trying to mother my second husband. Nothing ever seems to go right for me. My last marriage was my one and only shot at getting everything I wanted. My husband was as good as a man could get. In him I had it all; my father, my protector, and my soul mate. Finally I got my piece of the pie but once again life pulled the rug from under me. Took me to the highest mountain, promised me the world, walked me to the edge, allowed me to admire the beautiful view, and then without warning pushed me over. Life to me had become the enemy. The edge was a distant memory for me. I had departed from it so long ago. Why hadn’t anyone noticed? Now I’m here with him and he’s attempting to walk me to yet another cliff. Well, little does Dawson know, cliffs don’t scare me anymore. So much of my life was wasted holding on to something that would never exist with him. I’ve always wanted something from him that he never intended to give me.This was the perfect moment to get everything out. No holds barred. “Dawson, let’s just be honest. You never wanted to give me everything, did you? You just wanted to continue to have your cake and eat it too. Well, let me be the first to tell you that life is not designed for any of us to have it all without compromising. I can’t believe how stupid I have been. Ten years! Ten wasted years! I can’t do this any longer. This is not even worth it anymore. I know what it feels like to have a man love me whole heartedly and Dawson you have never made me feel that way. As a matter of fact I don’t think you even came close.” Again he looked shocked. He looked crushed. I was on a roll so I needed to continue. “Yes, the sex has always been great. The dinners, the vacations, the calls, the excitement, everything was great but it’s not enough. It was never enough. I hate knowing being with you is always temporary. This vacation for Christ sake is seven days and seven days only. Then what am I suppose to do? Go back to my life and continue to wait for you. I hate that I don’t know anything about your personal life. We have known each other so long but you keep that part of you private. I guess I have never been or will ever be the one for you.”He looked hurt by what I said and what he said next left nothing else to discuss. “Harlem, from day one I have always been there for you. I met you while you were still in love with your first husband. I stood by and gave you everything you asked of me and asked for nothing in return. I have feelings and I hurt too. I never pressured you or gave you any ultimatums. I just played it cool and hoped one day I would have a chance with you. Then you left the country, married another guy and had a child. Yes, I was happy for you because you seemed happy but it hurt my heart. I had no choice but to move on with my life because that is what you did. When things with you and him was over you was strong in my life again but you always kept your options open. You never acted as if you wanted any more than what we shared. I admit I was scared and I didn’t want to play myself and get my feeling hurt by you again so I never pressed any issues. As soon as I started allowing myself to get into you again you, well you know what you did. Now because of how things worked out for you all of a sudden I am number one guy again. Well Harlem I don’t like being second best either. You are here, there, and everywhere and I don’t know where I fit. Your world is so crazy and changes from day to day it would wear me out anyway. I just wanted to come out here and have a good time and that is exactly what I am going to do. If you want to sit here and feel sorry for yourself be my guest but I am going to enjoy myself. I will see you later.”He left the cabin and I heard the horns blowing and the ship began to move. My head was hurting so bad, my heart was pounding a million miles a minute, I was sweating profusely, I was shaking uncontrollably, and tears was running down my face. I wanted the pain to stop. I never wanted anything so badly in my life. My sprit had left the cabin with him. He said a lot but never did he say what I wanted to hear. Simple words could have made all the difference. He was the one person who had the power to change the loneliness I was feeling. Why couldn’t he just say what I needed to hear? The walls were closing in on me. My thinking was distorted but I knew the pain I felt needed to end. Dawson has never asked for more than what we shared. He never would because for some unspoken reason I wasn’t worthy to him. I opened the door and walked out of the cabin. I needed to end all the pain once and for all. I wanted out and I begged God to accept me with open arms. This life had gotten the best of me and I had lost the will to live. I passed so many happy people. Couples were hugging, kissing, throwing confetti overboard, and laughing. Everyone looked like they were having tons and tons of fun. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt that way. Even if I did it was always so brief. I was so tired. Everyone was having so much fun they hadn’t even noticed the devastated state I was in. No one stopped me or asked if I needed any help. It felt like I was invisible. I searched and searched for the perfect spot. I decided to go to the top deck because it was less crowded and it was up high. I figured the closer I was to God the faster I would get home once it was all over. In an instant like a call being disconnected and a dial tone sounding in my ears my mind was made up. I knew exactly what I had to do. I started feeling so happy. All my problems would soon be a thing of the past. Now I was smiling and laughing and happy like everyone else. They were happy but I was experiencing another level of joy because I knew something they didn’t. I figured out how to end the pain once and for all. I felt like I had discovered the cure for cancer. When I reached the top deck it looked deserted. I thanked God for clearing it out for me. He was making sure nothing prevented me from coming home. I really felt confident by now that I was doing the right thing. He was reassuring me that it was ok. These were all signs and I knew it.The perfect spot appeared out of nowhere. Again I thank God. There was emergency box mounted besides the railing of the back end of the ship. It would be easy for me to climb up and over the railing, thanks to the box. I took one last look around and noticed no one around me. There were people scattered on the top deck but even if they reacted it would be too late. In a few minutes I would be home watching from up above ‘pain free’. As I climbed over the rail I repeated the words I had heard before, “Please have mercy on my soul.” Just as I jumped, I caught sight of Dawson running towards me. The fall just about took my breath but there was no denying the pain of hitting the freezing cold water. I never learned how to swim so I knew once I started to sink it was just a matter of seconds before I would be reunited with my maker. As I began to sink thoughts of my kids began to flood my head. I could see them crying and hurting. I thought, “Oh my god what have I done!” The entire time I was contemplating ending my life I hadn’t thought of my kids and how my actions were going to affect them. I remember holding each one of them in my arms at birth, their first steps, first day of school, first hugs, first kisses and the first time they said mommy. I began to panic because I knew I was wrong in wanting to leave them behind. I wanted to live but I knew it was too late. I was drowning and I knew it. I was sinking and with every second I was loosing control of my mind, body, and soul. The water was suffocating me and I was fading fast. I wondered what made me do such a crazy thing. How had I ended up in such a hopeless state of confusion? Why did I allow a man to push me over the edge like this? I wanted to live but it was crystal clear that it was too late. I pleaded for God to help me out of this helpless situation. Thoughts of the events leading up to this awful decision to self-destruct consumed my mind. What a difference one year can make. In one year I have become completely disconnected from reality.
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